The King IS Coming to Save the World in 2014. Make No Mistake. #godzilla

From forgotten depths, from places beyond time and imagination, HE is returning in 2014 ...

From forgotten depths, from places beyond time and imagination, HE is returning in 2014 …

... rising above the chaos of a world gone mad to save humanity in its hour of need ... an unlikely hero will emerge in splendor to rid the planet of the most horrifying threat Climate Change has ever inflicted upon our woeful and despairing population ...

… rising above the chaos of a world gone mad to save humanity in its hour of need … an unlikely hero will emerge in splendor to rid the planet of the most horrifying threat that Climate Change has ever inflicted upon our woeful and despairing population …

He will leave no nation unscathed, no city standing ... until the Real Enemy is destroyed.

He will leave no nation unscathed, no city standing … until the Real Enemy is destroyed.

"Today, oh glorious day, I passed a stool in my Cuisinart, cried nine tears while looking at a picture of Newt Gingrich naked and then set the blender on frappe until I had enough Art to daub onto six new wigs! Someone give me my own wing at the Pompidou, already ... La dee dah di dah di dah dah ..."

“Today, oh glorious day, toodly-doo, I passed a stool in my Cuisinart, cried nine tears while looking at a picture of Newt Gingrich naked and then set the blender on frappe until I had enough Art to daub onto six new wigs! Wigs wigs wigs wigs wigs! Someone give me my own gallery at the Pompidou, already … La dee dah di dah di dah dah …”

SHHHHHZZZHHHHHZZAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHZZZ-Z-ZAM!

SHHHHHZZZHHHHHZZAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHZZZ-Z-ZAM!

( ~sssszzzzizzzzle ....~)

( ~sssszzzzizzzzle ….~)

... and like a desperado, he shall depart into the sunset, leaving us to pick up the pieces of a brighter new world, a decidedly more artful world.

… and like a desperado, he shall depart into the sunset, leaving us to pick up the pieces of a brighter new world, a decidedly more artful world.

"Goodbye, Godzilla! And thank you!"

“Goodbye, Godzilla! And thank you!”


___________

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world. FREE ON AMAZON KINDLE UNTIL MIDNIGHT, OCTOBER 31!

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

Strictly beer, burgers & brats. Wear shorts. Show off your #legs.

Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween 2013, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve-themed novel, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That’s 5 days to scoop-up this cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes to fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) this Halloween! See below for more details about the book …
________

It’s going to be a simple affair–nothing fancy. I know you’ve come to expect exquisite and complex gastronomic masterpieces from me, and you have every right to desire more of my singular genius in that regard, but this Tuesday we’re going to strive to keep things simple. I’m talking burgers, brats, beer and maybe a bit of salad. Okay, you want appetizers? I’ll have chips and salsa. Happy now? Does that satisfy your greedy little mealy-mouthed palette? I’ll even start with my whirled-renowned homemade stuff. Here’s the bowl. Here’s my secret ingredient inside the bowl. All I need is the pestle. Where did I put that damned thing, anyway? And, hey! When it comes to recipes, don’t tell anyone. I mean it! Some of my guests are a little unsophisticated, they aren’t used to exotic ingredients, and I don’t feel like explaining a lot of culinary minutiae to them if they suddenly find themselves in some sort of “intestinal distress.” Like I care. To reiterate: This cookout is going to be low-key. No headaches.

tara 1

No, you don’t have to bring anything. In fact, you know what? Don’t even come. There’ll be more food for me, which is what I really want most in life, anyhow. There. I said it. The whole world knows. Big freakin’ deal. But if you do come, keep in mind that this is strictly a backyard, chillin’-on-the-deck sort of thing. The weather is supposed to be warm and sultry. Wear shorts. Show off your legs. All eight of them, if you want. I don’t mind. I really don’t.

tara 2
_____________

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

The world of dating is a tale of meet, greet & eat for #tarantulas.

Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween 2013, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve-themed novel for adults, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That’s 5 days to scoop up this cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes and fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) this Halloween season! See below for more details …
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SING IT! (To the tune of the old Andy Williams/Johnny Mathis Christmas song) … “It’s the MOST amorous time of the year! With the leaves that are falling, tarantulas crawling and hearts filled with FEARRRRRrrrrr!”

Yeah, this is the time of year in Northern California when horny male tarantulas start roaming in droves across roads, yards, fields, mountains, plains, high chaparral, parking lots, sidewalks, wild woodlands and through the aisles of WalMart in search of willing mates. Typically, these are shy and retiring members of the arachnid family but they more than make up for their introversion in Autumn with this mass migration to hunt for female affection. Most people brake for small and fuzzy creatures that happen to be in the roadway as they speed home in a feverish daze to catch every scintillating minute of Creeping Up With the Kartrashians, but these particular Small & Fuzzies don’t seem to rate the same courtesy from drivers, unfortunately.

"And take off that brassiere, my dear ... because baby, you and me, this night, we're gonna get it on ... to love serenade."

“And take off that brassiere, my dear … because baby, you and me, this night, we’re gonna get it on … to love serenade.”

In fact, it’s rather common to find them smooshed on the roadways, even deliberately so. Pictured above is one lusty little fella who survived the perilous trek across the winding lane in front of my place, albeit with the prompting of a stick. Hey, it was a favor. The gangling things must be overwhelmed with Lady-Spider pheromones because they do tend to ramble aimlessly in dangerous spots. We just gave this one a little help. He was traveling with a buddy, at the time, but it was probably a good idea to separate them, given the fact that they were possibly going to end up competing with each other for the affections of the same gal, waiting somewhere in the shadows of her cluttered silken burrow deep in the forest.

Tarantula-sex itself is a risky undertaking, from what I gather. The males must use their pedipalps, little antennae-like appendages located near their massive chelicerae (that’s “fangs” in the language of Spider-Nerd) to vibrate specific lovin’ sensations to the hiding female, sort of like sitting in a Cadillac at the curb, playing some Barry White and letting the sweet, whiskey-smooth sounds drift through the car window into your Red Hot Mama’s crib in the hope she might be inspired to let you in for a little visit. Just like that, really. In any case, the male tarantula must lure the female out of her nest, placate her with various gifts, tricks, and promises of fidelity in order to approach and then, once they are cephalothorax-to-cephalothorax and carapace-to-carapace, use specially evolved sex-hooks on the tips of his legs to pin Miss Thang’s front-parts all the way back. (Yes, natural selection swings in the BDSM direction from time to time in the animal kingdom). He does all this so she can’t possibly stab into him with her much bigger, more no-nonsense (“Listen, I gotta get back to cleanin’ the house. Ain’t nobody got time for THIS!”) venom-injectors. If the male tarantula gets the female in the right mood, canoodling proceeds apace. Sound familiar to anyone? Uh huh.

Such Herculean efforts do not usually end in Days of Wine & Roses, however. If the male tarantula is even a tad off his game as he disengages, the female will strike with lightning speed and eat him. There’s no time for the post-coitus cigarette, to say nothing of cuddling. Lady Tarantulas don’t care about any of that nonsense. Once impregnated, they know they’ll have several hundred kids to feed in a few months, so a meal at-hand is a meal at-hand, even if it happens to be your one-night stand. Of course, this “I’ll Die for Some Action” attitude serves an important purpose in nature; the nutrients that Mama Tarantula obtains from poisoning, masticating and ingesting the body-juices of her mate will go a long way toward much-needed child support when the egg sac needs to be decorated and such.

So, rock on, little tarantula-men, rock on. Get your groove on with honor and eager anticipation, knowing that somewhere out there, the girl of your dreams is waiting to greet you, meet you … and eat you.

I just love Autumn. It’s so … symbolic.
_______

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

Sometimes the sheer carnage of self-sacrifice can scar a man for life. #NSFW

Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve novel, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That’s five days to scoop-up this cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes for a tale that will fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) like no other enchanted read this holiday season! See below for more details about the novel …
_______

I could see the danger clearly the instant I opened the box …

yummy

Without doubt, this nondescript cardboard package had been sent by an enemy of diabolical cunning and almost incomprehensible Evil! Oh, the tiny sticker on the outside of the heinous delivery read: “Lafayette French Bakery and Café in Carmel, California,” but I knew that anything containing objects this lethal, this astonishingly insidious, could only emanate from warped minds hell-bent upon the ruination of all that is good and redemptive in civilization. What to do? What to do?

How on earth could one unsuspecting man diffuse such potentially explosive and catastrophic devices of mass-destruction (for that is clearly what they were) without risking the exposure of my fellow countrymen (and women) to the deadly fallout of nougaty goodness, rich chocolate despair, and widespread lemon-curd radiation? In those grim moments I grappled with the existential ramifications and a quaking sense of my own, tenuous mortality. The clock on the wall ticked with accusation and foreboding. Time was of the essence! Others were going-about their affairs, blissfully unaware of the Tsunami of Ruin about to come crashing down upon their innocent heads!

A decision had to made! Taking the first volatile Instrument of Certain Doom in my hand …

lemonjoy

… I knew that there was only one way to rid the earth of such calamitous forces. I gave myself, so that others might continue and thrive, that good people across the globe might rise to greet each new day with the sheer exaltation that comes with being alive.

wreckage

Sacrifice is never easy, and the carnage is brutal to behold–often remembered only in grainy, indistinct footage that can never pretend to capture the magnitude of the bloodshed. The courageous among us, however, forge onward. We do it because we must.

We must.
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American Horror Story: Coven is off to Sexy, Hexy Beginning. #worthwatching

Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween 2013, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve-themed novel, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That’s five days to scoop-up this delectable cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes to join warlock Rowan Blaize and his twisted supernatural posse for a Halloween-novel that’ll fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) like no other enchanted read this season! See below for more details about the book …
____________

This ain't your great-grandma's Charm School, baby. No way.

This ain’t your great-grandma’s Charm School, baby. No way.

It is a pleasure to announce my unmitigated satisfaction with the premier episode of American Horror Story: Coven, which opens the third season of the acclaimed Brad Falchuk-produced, Ryan Muphy-conceived supernatural anthology. I don’t watch anything else that emanates from contemporary television networks and reject all reality programming on the grounds that it will forever render me an incoherent, drooling member of Generation ADHD (which may already be the case, for all I know), but I LOVE what Murphy has created in his AHS productions and have been a devoted admirer of concept, cast, crew and all the clever details since Season One’s Murder House launch.

As mentioned, I tend to do things a bit “back asswards” when it comes to entertaining myself in a chronologically conventional fashion. I spend most of my time working on my own various book and illustration projects, and having eschewed all regularly scheduled attempts by television to turn my brain into cheesecloth, that means I stream cherry-picked movies and other stuff on Netflix when I’m so inclined, which is exactly what transpired concerning my introduction to AHS’s first season. I had heard intriguing things about the series, have always been enamored of Jessica Lange’s intoxicating talents as an actor, and decided to watch the show on Netflix early this Spring — easily a year or more after the first series had been initially televised. I was hooked and frankly quite thrilled by the quality of the work and ended-up watching the entire run in two unshaven, empty Frito bag-littered, transfixed days in front of the flat-screen. (Some of you know full-well of what I speak~) I did brush my teeth morning and night — I remember that much, beyond my fascination with the series itself.

Plainly put: For picky, overly analytical and, yes, hyper-critical guys like me, it was wonderful to see such creative expertise on display, particularly knowing it was being presented on the boob tube, which I figured had degenerated beyond all hope of redemption ten years ago. Don’t tell me I’m missing a lot of other great shows besides AHS; I already know I am probably missing a lot of worthy efforts, but I’ve only got time for AHS, these days, so AHS is going to be my main touchstone/source of distracting entertainment, for now.

The same mistimed situation occurred (sort of) with AHS: Asylum — I was busy with a book and did not catch the show during its initial run. I did, however, purchase the full series on Blu-Ray six days ago and watched that installment, in its entirety, over an equally mesmerized two or three days. I was quite pleased with Asylum: the performances, cinematography and visuals were exceptionally well-crafted and executed, though I did find the overall storyline to be unnecessarily gratuitous in some spots, and the plotting was scatterbrained and occasionally disconnected. No matter–it remains a series any true fan of the genre should own and cherish.

After obtaining a few more details about the premise for AHS: Coven, I thought the concept sounded rather promising in the sense that it might give Falchuk and Murphy a chance to combine the best qualities of Series One and Series Two in one breathtaking setting and within the framework of an even richer storyline. Not willing to wait a year until the show comes out on Blu-Ray, I bought Episode One (“Bitchcraft”) on iTunes and settled-in last night for a looky-loo.

All of our favorites are off to a rollicking start, I must aver, with some tantalizing new faces thrown into the mix. The now-famous and signature AHS opening-sequences have reached a new standard of perfection with the one that introduces AHS: Coven — it’s perhaps the most psychologically disturbing series-intro I’ve ever seen, using light, shadow, cuts, angles and imagery (both ethereal and horrifying) with masterful precision. (What’s that skinny demon THANG between the trees in the moonlight? I GOTTA KNOW!!!!) The story itself gets off to the most immediately terrifying start enjoyed by any of the show’s premiere episodes to date. Kathy Bates is added to the Monster Mash as Delphine LaLaurie, a 19th Century New Orleans socialite who simpers like a genteel Southern matron by day and inflicts brutal perversions upon her slaves in an attic by night. Move over, Annie Wilkes, and drop that sledgehammer: Delphine LaLaurie is scarier than you’ll ever be, even in your sweet little piggiest dreams. Bates shows-off her award-winning range in the opening scenes — flexing her acting muscles full-tilt, she unleashes a bravura but highly calibrated tempest of terror. Once again, the visual images and cinematographic touches are not to be missed by horror fans.

The captivating Taissa Farmiga makes a most welcome return to the AHS fold as a teenage girl who doesn’t realize she is descended from the powerful witches of Salem until her special “gift” is unexpectedly manifested during a steamy interlude with a young, ill-fated lad. “Oops!” doesn’t begin to cover the magnitude of her unwitting faux pas, but very quickly Taissa’s mother reveals the nature of the Family Tree and its “look but don’t touch” fruit. This revelation necessitates an immediate relocation: Taissa is squirreled away by a posse of eccentric-looking minions to Miss Robichaux’s School for Exceptional Girls in downtown New Orleans.

Yeah, it’s an old-fashioned charm school, alright, but not the kind of charm school your great-granny wanted to send her own girls off to, back in the day.

At Robichaux’s, Taissa meets a somewhat rag-tag little group of fellow sorceresses holed-up in a cavernous and deliciously gothic Southern mansion. The witch-ranks have apparently been on the wane in the past century due to the scourge of birth-control and possible bureaucratic mismanagement. The tiny “coven” of girls seems comprised of misfits in one way or another, but each possesses a trademark power and all of the actresses enlisted do a pretty good job with their roles, thus far. The imposing Gabourey Sidibe is a cast member I would keep my eye upon as the season progresses — Gabourey is a gifted performer and her initial work as “Queenie,” a human voodoo-doll, is compelling in an understated manner. Even Emma Roberts, who apparently was catching some pre-season flack because fans didn’t want to see an alleged Hollywood brat enter Murphy’s pantheon of characterizations, hits a home-run, or at least a triple, as far as I’m concerned. Maybe that’s because she’s playing a Hollywood brat exiled from LaLa Land due to her uncontrollable telekinetic temper-tantrums. Whatever the reason, she’s convincing as the spoiled “Carrie-type” character and I’m eager to see what direction is taken by her snotty-but-vulnerable starlet as the storyline unfolds. I have a feeling she may win a lot of fans over, if the writing remains solid.

Of course, Jessica Lange steals the whole thing — lock, stock, & barrel — with her layered and simmering-with-madness portrayal of Fiona, the “Supreme” (and, no, we’re not talking one of Miss Ross’s backup singers, here). Jessica’s character is a high-rolling, globetrotting Red Hot Mama in Black, the most mighty witch of her era, and in episode one we find her coming back to New Orleans where her daughter (a thus-far subdued Sarah Paulson) is running (or failing to properly run) the witches’ academy, which Mama Fiona derisively calls “Hogwarts”. CLASSIC!

There was a heck of a lot of action and plot the writers had to unfurl and establish in a very quick 51-minutes, but I think they managed to do it in a way that leaves AHS fans assured of some spectacular twists, turns and terrific treats to come. Kathy Bate’s continued involvement in the series, as well as the great Angela Basset’s guest-starring turn as voodoo-priestess Marie LaVeau guarantee some hot, scenery-chewing episodes with Jessica Lange’s mega-witch, and you know it’s going to be must-watch TV. Look, too, for the return of sexy Lily Rabe’s character as a necromancer named “Misty” and more than anything else, watch for scintillating developments in the storyline involving Taissa’s character and the frat-boy played by the always outstanding Evan Peters! It’s great to see Taissa and Evan onscreen together again: the two established an astonishing, almost legendary chemistry in Season One, and I’d be highly surprised if Murphy did not attempt to utilize the allure of that inherent charisma for his latest project. The scene wherein Farmiga and Peters first glimpse each other through an ice-sculpture at a party was haunting and ominous, which is more than appropriate for a season that promises to deliver the supernatural goods … and deliver ’em with a knockout punch.

Excellent horror-programming LIVES, folks. Enjoy the progress of AHS: Coven and feel free to leave your own opinions about the premier. Now, it’s time for some lunch. I’ll have what Gabourey was having when she raided the fridge at Robichaux’s midway through the premiere. #DrumstickHeaven
_________

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

The Tannis Root Explains Everything. #ApocalypseWatch

"I've spoken with the others, Rosemary, and they all agree that if you'll take the tonic without any more of your complaints, then you can absolutely name the baby 'Miley' when it's born."

“I’ve spoken with the others, Rosemary, and they all agree that if you’ll take the tonic without any more of these ridiculous complaints, then you can absolutely name the kid ‘Miley’ when it’s born.”


____________

Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween 2013, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve-themed novel, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That gives readers five days to scoop up this delectable cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes to join warlock Rowan Blaize and his twisted supernatural posse for a Halloween-novel that will fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) like no other enchanted read this holiday season! See below for more details about the book …

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

Jessica Lange hopes to save wolves from a real #AmericanHorrorStory. #gogirl

The ever-alluring and viscerally talented Jessica Lange has impressed me for years on big screens, little screens and theatrical stages in-between screens, but she is never more enchanting (no, not even as a glamor-puss witch to be reckoned-with in the upcoming season of American Horror Story:Coven, premiering October 4th, FX) than when she is using her sultry charms to fight for the rights of American wolves! The lupine population in Jessica’s native state of Minnesota has been on the upswing in recent years, prompting a relaxation of hunting restrictions, even though (as Lange and other concerned parties contend) conflicts between wolf populations and human populations (along with their livestock) have been virtually non-existent. In an effort to give the wolves of Minnesota a breather from what appears to be wholly unnecessary and sport-driven culling, Miss Jessica Lange has written a compelling and open letter (“open letters” are trending this week, SEE: Sinead O’Connor vs. Miley Cyrus) to Minnesota governor Mark Dayton asking him to put the kibosh on what sounds like an ongoing spree by bloodthirsty trophy-seekers. (Well, that’s what it sounds like … I haven’t heard the other side of the story, yet.)

Governor Dayton, you can either look into the possibility of saving the wolves of Minnesota or this lady might possibly turn you into one. Your choice.

Governor Dayton, you can either look into the possibility of saving the wolves of Minnesota or this lady might possibly turn you into one. Your choice.

The letter by the two-time (and quite deserving) Oscar-winner can be found on the Howling for Wolves site here and is well worth a read. We’ll have to see whether or not Governor Dayton responds with statistics and reasons that justify the wolf-hunting legislation beyond the need for some people to decorate their entry halls with stuffed wolves placed next to the kids’ muddy sneakers or fashion a rug to warm some fella’s gnarly toenails as he drinks beer and watches the game in his Man-Cave. In the meantime, Jessica’s missive is reasonable and diplomatic and, of all the celebs who make it such a point to dramatize their activism for various causes, Lange has always been (to my mind) one of the more measured and sensible, particularly given her penchant for playing fascinating women who seem ever-to-be-simmering on the brink of madness. Plus, you gotta love wolves, so long as the sheep are safe, and if you ask the sheep whether they feel “safer” from lonesome wolves deep in the wilds or lonesome farmers just across the barnyard … I think we all know what those sheep are gonna say. (Ahem)

Anyhow, kudos to the mesmerizing Jessica Lange for her letter of wolfy support and don’t you dare miss the premiere of the third season of American Horror Story on FX this October 4th, if good writing, great acting and being scared senseless is your cup of tea. Check local listings. The opening credits sequence for the new season has been made public and I guarantee you: it is the creepiest-looking minute of television you will see in quite some time. Have a look …
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Mark Your Calendars! To Celebrate Halloween 2013, Jonathan’s wild & witchy All Hallows Eve-themed novel, Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy, will be available for FREE KINDLE E-BOOK DOWNLOAD from 12AM October 27 until midnight October 31! That gives readers five days to scoop up this delectable cauldron’s brew-of-a-tale, set amidst the magical mischief and mayhem of St. Augustine, America’s Oldest City. Click HERE when the time comes to join warlock Rowan Blaize and his twisted supernatural posse for a Halloween-novel that will fire-up the imagination (and your Kindle) like no other enchanted read this holiday season! See below for more details about the book …

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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