Because a Mind is a Terrible Thing to Warp … #Nostalgia

"Enjoy these wholesome moments now, Cindy. Because one day some doctor is going to hook electrodes to your skull and try to zap the memory of forcibly imposed religious guilt, repressed resentment of patriarchal subjugation, and ridiculous matching outfits right out of your precious brain ."

“Mommy’s done her best to craft this little illusion for you, Cindy, so do us a favor and try to live in the damn moment, okay? Trust me: one day some smug psychiatrist is going to erase every memory of imposed religious guilt, patriarchal resentment, and asinine matching outfits right out of your precious skull.”

"Enjoy these wholesome moments now, Cindy. Because one day some doctor is going to hook electrodes to your skull and try to zap the memory of forcibly imposed religious guilt, repressed resentment of patriarchal subjugation, and ridiculous matching outfits right out of your precious brain ."

“That sounds serious, Mommy! Will I still be cheerful enough to enjoy an ice-cold Coca Cola in the wonderful sunshine?”

"Enjoy these wholesome moments now, Cindy. Because one day some doctor is going to hook electrodes to your skull and try to zap the memory of forcibly imposed religious guilt, repressed resentment of patriarchal subjugation, and ridiculous matching outfits right out of your precious brain ."

“Honey, after another ten years with me –and the ensuing shock-treatments required to undo my handiwork– you’ll be lucky if you remember how to use a straw. Drink-up.”


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Jonathan Kieran is slowly withdrawing from contemporary human society in protest against a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. Stick around: some form of epic new work is slated for release in 2015. News in that regard is forthcoming.

Jonathan is currently the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

If classic fairy tales were written today … #smartypants

" ...and then Goldilocks successfully sued the bears because they failed to put a warning label on the bowl of hot porridge before she burglarized their home. THE END."

” …and then Goldilocks successfully sued the bears to the point of abject poverty because they had failed to put a warning label on the bowl of hot porridge before she burglarized their home. THE END.”


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Jonathan Kieran is slowly withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a myriad of egregious offenses against taste and decency, but seeing as how you’re probably responsible for many of these offenses, you don’t need to head for the hills, too. Stay where you are: an epic new work from Mr. Kieran is slated for release in 2015, and you’ll want to read it … if only to learn more about what it is you’re doing to screw-up the world. Updates will be forthcoming in the next few months.

Meanwhile, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

Beguiled by spellbound woodlands vast, to hearth and home I come at last. #NationalPoetryDay

Indeed, at long last I have returned from a month’s sojourn in beautiful Lower Saxony, Germany, to the fond and familiar surroundings of my mountain-top retreat near Big Sur, California. Autumn is beginning to assert its bold and blustery presence across our parched landscape in distinct counterpoint to the whimsical drizzle now saturating the colorful, leaf-strewn streets and lonely byways of Niedersachsen. From a land of vast heather and mystical moors I have come home to the high chaparral and windswept cliffs of NorCal, eager to explore new avenues of artistic endeavor.

The adventure abroad was filled with blithe and often unexpected encounters with magic, and the trek afforded me a spectacular opportunity to make new friends and reacquaint myself with places (and stories) that had hitherto existed only in the realms of folklore and imagination. What fodder for the tale-engineering gremlins that inhabit my impenetrable skull! A cheerful “Danke!” is extended to all those (mortal and ethereal) who made the experience so everlastingly memorable. Now, however, the time has come to settle-in and let the whimsical muse of Fall work its singular enchantments upon the quieting soul. Stay tuned for news about several scintillating developments, assorted tectonic shifts, and sundry. Change is most decidedly afoot, and the coming year promises to be bountiful with the fruits of a truly reinvigorated–and profoundly refocused–inspiration. Hijinks and hoopla to ensue … Tchuss!

A Beery German Kiss to One and All

A Beery German Kiss to One and All