Cindy finds NO correlation between her iPad and increased stupidity …

"I read the other day in the Wall Street Journal that human beings are becoming more stupid from using computers so much in daily life."

“I just read in the Wall Street Journal that human beings are becoming more stupid due to overreliance on computers.”

"I read the other day in the Wall Street Journal that human beings are becoming more stupid from using computers so much in daily life."

“That’s a buncha crap, though, ‘cuz yesterday I took one of those online tests, and my I.Q. was twenty-one degrees warmer than it was last month. And I’m talking Fahrenheit, not Celsius.


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Jonathan Kieran is withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. No! Let Mr. Kieran become your Vicarious Hermit, serving all of your needs for solitude and isolated contemplation by proxy, as it were. Otherwise, stick around: some form of epic and expectation-shattering work is slated for release in 2015. News about future books and Jonathan’s in-development multimedia production company will be forthcoming.

For your current reading pleasure, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile . . .

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below to learn more.

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

It’s easy to grade on the curve when the classroom is already warped. #GemsOfNihilism

"Okay, class, the textbook terminology is clearly outdated. Let me rephrase in a way you all can understand. If Brie, here, gets a job at the strip-club right after graduation, and Brad in the back row pays her $50 for two lap-dances a week until he's thirty-five, how much money will he need to borrow from his parents before they wise-up and turn his basement bedroom into a BDSM dungeon?"

“Okay, class. The textbook example is clearly outdated. Let me rephrase in a way you can all understand. If Brie, here, gets a job at the strip-club right after graduation, and Brad in the back row pays her $50 for two lap-dances a week until he’s thirty-five, how much money will he need to borrow from his parents before they wise-up and turn his basement bedroom into a BDSM dungeon?”


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Jonathan Kieran is withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. No! Let Mr. Kieran become your Vicarious Hermit, serving all of your needs for solitude and isolated contemplation by proxy, as it were. Otherwise, stick around: some form of epic and expectation-shattering work is slated for release in 2015. News about future books and Jonathan’s in-development multimedia production company will be forthcoming.

For your current reading pleasure, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile . . .

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below to learn more.

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

So glad they took a real risk & chose an obscure, humble, “talented type” to be #BritishGQWomanOfTheYear #Refreshing

"Gee, Mickey, people tell me I can sing like a nightingale, dance up a storm, and make folks laugh or cry with one line of dialogue. But I always doubt I've got any real talent. Do you think I'd ever have a chance to make it in the business in, say, the year 2014?"

“Gee, Mickey, in our heyday, people used to tell me I could sing like a nightingale, dance up a storm, and make folks laugh or cry with one line of dialogue. But I always doubted I had any real talent. Do you think I would’ve had a chance to really ‘make it’ in another era? Like the year 2014, for example?”

"Gosh, I dunno, Judy. Maybe if you're willing to inject your puny butt-cheeks with enough synthetic filler to smother a rhinoceros  and then expose that distorted rump like a feverish baboon begging the entire jungle to urinate on your rancid, swollen flesh ... you could probably get some attention in 2014. "

“In terms of how talent is rewarded by the masses in 2014? Quite possibly, Judy. I mean, if you were willing to inject your ass-cheeks with enough synthetic filler to smother a rhinoceros and then gyrate like a fevered baboon begging the entire jungle to urinate on your rancid, swollen flesh, you’d get all the attention, adulation, and financial security an American girl could ask for.”

``  ! ? ! ``

“ ! ? ! “

"Aw ... forget I said anything, Joots. Just stay here with me in heaven. Besides, it's all gonna blow sky-high down there for those dirty animals, anyhow. Let's go get a milkshake."

“Aw … forget I said anything, Joots. Just stick with me. Besides, I hear it’s all gonna blow sky-high down there for those filthy animals at any minute. C’mon. Let’s go get some popcorn and watch the fireworks from up here. Ought to be a swell show.”


__
Jonathan Kieran is withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. No! Let Mr. Kieran become your Vicarious Hermit, serving all of your needs for solitude and isolated contemplation by proxy, as it were. Otherwise, stick around: some form of epic and expectation-shattering work is slated for release in 2015. News about future books and Jonathan’s in-development multimedia production company will be forthcoming.

For your current reading pleasure, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile . . .

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below to learn more.

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

There is actually a new virus that makes humans [more] stupid …

"Barbra, did you hear that scientists have discovered a new virus that makes humans more stupid?"

“My God, Barbra, someone told me they discovered a new virus that makes humans stupid. Is that true?”

"Yeah, it's true. We're supposed to avoid places where the highest concentrations of the disease are evident."

“Yeah, it’s true. Scientists say we must avoid places where the highest concentrations of the disease are evident.”

"What? Like airports? Malls? Restaurants?Churches?"

“What? Like airports? Malls? Restaurants? Churches? Beauty parlors?”

"No. Just internet comments sections."

“No. Internet comments sections.”


__
Jonathan Kieran is withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. No! Let Mr. Kieran become your Vicarious Hermit, serving all of your needs for solitude and isolated contemplation by proxy, as it were. Otherwise, stick around: some form of epic and expectation-shattering work is slated for release in 2015. News about future books and Jonathan’s in-development multimedia production company will be forthcoming.

For your current reading pleasure, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile . . .

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below to learn more.

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

When all else fails, pose with an electrified cat. #Standards

Lately I am loathe to play any sort of role as just one more babbling voice in what I call the “Great Cacophony” — this seemingly infinite and overloaded universe of disparate, narcissistic voices clamoring and competing for attention in the cyber realm and elsewhere. I do not want to become one of those paragons of vanity who bombards fellow human beings with pointless and banal quips, quotes, updates, adages, jokes, links, sound-bites, snippets, essays, recipes, shout-outs, opinions, ejaculations, emanations, contemplations, and all manner of self-absorbed and/or self-serving eruptions that, in general, amount to little more than a truly apocalyptic trumpet-blast of garden-variety flatulence accosting the already befuddled senses of Earth’s inhabitants.

Too many people are making too much noise … when so precious few have anything truly valuable to say.

Be that as it may, the masses will always determine what does or does not possess inherent value, and what merits enthusiastic adulation and attention — divided or undivided. Admittedly, the track-record of “the masses” in this regard has been (and remains) rather spotty throughout the history of civilization, cf. Witch-burning, Vegemite, Fifty Shades of Gray, Velveeta, A Walk to Remember, The Kardashians, etc. etc.

Nevertheless, it behooves any true artist in this potentially cataclysmic epoch to let his or her work speak for itself, without the frightful din of too much self-obsessed explanation or the adornment of superfluous exposition. Create and reveal, then let the precious chips of widespread approval or acclaim fall where they will, that’s what I say! I have learned few greater lessons in life than this one: people do indeed define “success” quite differently and according to their own measure of personal happiness and satisfaction.

It is for this reason that, keeping in mind the noble self-restraint about which I have so eloquently pontificated, I shall henceforth endeavor to promote and market my work solely by the means of posting naked and near-naked super-duper sexy photos of myself.

The rest can be managed by a particularly loquacious and over-caffeinated publicist.

Standards, after all, have got to start counting for something, again.

Happy November, y’all.

Yours Truly, Halloween 2014, The Clift Hotel Party, San Francisco. (Don't know who the electrified cat was, but few could keep their paws off me that night. Must have been the hat ...)

Yours Truly, Halloween 2014, The Clift Hotel Party, San Francisco. (Don’t know who the electrified cat was, but few could keep their paws off me that night. Must have been the hat …)


__
Jonathan Kieran is withdrawing from contemporary human society to protest a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. No! Let Mr. Kieran become your Vicarious Hermit, serving all of your needs for solitude and isolated contemplation by proxy, as it were. Otherwise, stick around: some form of epic and expectation-shattering work is slated for release in 2015. News about future books and Jonathan’s in-development multimedia production company will be forthcoming.

For your current reading pleasure, Jonathan is the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books and novels. Visit Mr. Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile . . .

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of works. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below to learn more.

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
__________________________________________
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads