Month: May 2023

Just Sizing Up the Produce Section

I have seen extremely large hammerhead sharks do THIS VERY THING during my years in Florida. It’s deliciously spooky to watch a fifteen-foot hammerhead cruise along slowly, parallel to the shoreline, in shallow, clear water, as if perusing cuts of meat in the butcher’s section of a grocery store. A packed beach of people will stand and watch the eerie scene and spend a … Read More Just Sizing Up the Produce Section

40 Crocodiles Eat Man Who Runs Family Crocodile Farm

If anyone can beat this tale in terms of listing hazardous jobs statistically likely to involve lost limbs and tragic endings, please feel free to share. I hope some Cambodian troubadour at least composes an ode in the poor fellow’s honor. At least a legend might live-on after such an auspicious end. ————- #UncleSatay #RIP #DontPokeTheCroc #BalanceIsEverything #Oops #AuthorJonathanKieran #JonathanKieran #WriterJonathanKieran #CaliforniaLife #OnTheEdge #Wistwood … Read More 40 Crocodiles Eat Man Who Runs Family Crocodile Farm

Proper Conservation Bears Sharky Fruit

There are more fish in our oceans these days and healthier ecosystems—the likes of which we have not seen since the 1940s and 1950s, just before rampant efforts by bigger, more powerful international fishing industry behemoths began to devastate various populations of sea life. During the 80-year interim, it’s little wonder why recreational activities like surfing, diving, bodyboarding, kayaking, and swimming exploded in popularity, … Read More Proper Conservation Bears Sharky Fruit

Egad! Ugly Egyptian Temples in Chino Hills, California? I’ll Pass.

THESE STOREFRONT “TEMPLES” located at The Commons in Chino Hills, CA, are certainly new on my Egyptological Enthusiast’s radar. Both structures are obviously intended to reproduce the renowned original cliffside-hewn sanctuaries of Abu Simbel, built thousands of years ago by Pharaoh Ramses II. The larger of the two original temples was dedicated to the deified king himself and a coterie of national gods like … Read More Egad! Ugly Egyptian Temples in Chino Hills, California? I’ll Pass.

My Second Favorite Predator Grabs a Snack

People who fail to keep an eye on their beloved canines while frolicking in an around Saltwater Crocodile territory in Australia (or gator country in the Southeastern USA, for that matter) should not be surprised when a faithful consumer of Doggie Chow actually becomes the chow. Many an elderly granny has learned this the hard way in Florida—and gators will gladly take an unwary … Read More My Second Favorite Predator Grabs a Snack

All Aboard to Cape Cod … the Beaches Are Open!

Just be sure to wear a black wetsuit when taking that delightful dip. Truly, with the entertainment industry bereft of new ideas (though countless new stories and works are created ever year) and intent upon remaking classic kids’ films and shitty comic book tales in ridiculously infantilized “woke” incarnations, why not up the artistic ante? Inject a dose of realism into such upcoming works, … Read More All Aboard to Cape Cod … the Beaches Are Open!

Ironbound Wants Some Low-Country Grub

First, I have to state that “Ironbound” is a stupid name for a great white shark. Or any animal. These marine biologists/researchers need to up their naming game skills. “Young Feisty Bastard” would have been JUST RIGHT. And 12 feet does not constitute a “massive” Great White Shark, as some outlets have been hyperbolizing. Ironbound is an adolescent. But make no mistake: if you … Read More Ironbound Wants Some Low-Country Grub

🚨Rumors From the Vatican🚨

Supposedly a new dogmatic definition is forthcoming from the boys in red ballgowns for the purposes of the inclusivity of mysteriously vanished female aviatrixes according to proper theological diversity and assorted What-Not. ALLEGEDLY the papal pronouncement will read as follows: We proclaim and define it to be a dogma revealed by God that Amelia Earhart, when the course of her earthly life was finished, … Read More 🚨Rumors From the Vatican🚨

Happy Birthday, Grace Jones

Simply standing in place is woman is a work of high art. Her talents are the rich, sumptuous, nougaty center. Happy 75th Birthday, Grace Jones. We hymn Ye. —————— #GraceJones #GraceJonesBirthday #Immortal #Legend#PullUpToTheBumper #AuthorJonathanKieran #JonathanKieran #WriterJonathanKieran #CaliforniaLife #OnTheEdge #Wistwood #JonathanKieranTheAuthor #JonathanKieranMusic #JonathanKieranNewAlbum #JonathanKieranArtist #Jericho #JonathanKieranJericho #JerichoAlbum #WritersOfInstagram 

Be Careful Out There, Royalty May Run You DOWN

My cat was emerging from her “igloo-style” litter box this morning as I was entering the laundry room and she zipped unexpectedly between my legs to make her escape. I was forced to put a steadying hand on the edge of the washing machine for a second. I describe this encounter as “near catastrophic.” But what can you expect from royalty. Ms. Beans is … Read More Be Careful Out There, Royalty May Run You DOWN

Serrated Update

HERE is a bit more info concerning the recent attack and apparent death/consumption of an Australian surfer by a highly aggressive great white shark. One eyewitness account seems to indicate that the predator was “at least ten feet” long, which is relatively small for a Great White prepared to eat an adult human being in its entirety. In some respects, the reports about length … Read More Serrated Update

No, We’re NOT Mistaken for Seals

Another Australian surfer has gone down to Davy Jones’s locker in the grip of serrated Great White Shark teeth and a swirling cloud of gore. This unfortunate gentleman, Simon Baccanello, a popular local teacher and sports coach (as re-reported by Beach Grit) was just offshore in a lineup of perhaps a dozen other nearby surfers when a large Great White Shark singled him out … Read More No, We’re NOT Mistaken for Seals