Tag: bad movies

Jonny’s Retro-Cinema Hall of LAME: Goo-Luvin’ Giants … with their own village!

JONNY’S RETRO-CINEMA HALL OF LAME presents TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Director Bert Gordon with “Stars” Beau Bridges, Tommy Kirk, Joy Harmon, Johnny Crawford, Ron Howard, Robert Random, Toni Basil, Vicki London, and other Assorted Aces of Awfulness RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Based more loosely than a herd of rabid, wailing cows attempting to dance the Virginia Reel upon H.G. … Read More Jonny’s Retro-Cinema Hall of LAME: Goo-Luvin’ Giants … with their own village!

I was still willing to give cinema the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters #despair

Look, this film is not going to get an in-depth review because it doesn’t merit one, but I do have a few pointed remarks I would like to share out of what you might call an overriding sense of colossal umbrage, or something. I happened to catch Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters on Netflix while stuck in a hotel room in Santa Cruz, not … Read More I was still willing to give cinema the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters #despair

No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …

POP HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME presents LOVABLY ROTTEN FANTASY MOVIES TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: HOCUS POCUS (Walt Disney Pictures, 1993) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, all Producers, Directors, Writers RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This movie appears to have been a gratingly earnest attempt by Walt Disney Pictures to ca$h-in on the craving of mainstream 1990s audiences for supernatural comedies, but the … Read More No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …

HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: WHY I WRITE FAIRY TALES IN LIEU OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE EDITION (Showgirls)

NOTE TO GOODREADS COMMUNITY: HANG TIGHT — WE’RE GOING TO BE DOING SOME WONDERFUL GIVEAWAYS VERY SOON AND TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND SUPPORT ~Jonathan K. A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD CINEMA) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: SHOWGIRLS … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: WHY I WRITE FAIRY TALES IN LIEU OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE EDITION (Showgirls)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA) by Jonathan Kieran TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: TROLL (1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Noah Hathaway as “Harry Potter Jr.”; Michael Moriarty as “Harry Potter Sr.”; Julia Louis-Dreyfus as “Jeanette”; Sonny Bono as “Peter”; Shelley Hack as “Anne”; June Lockhart as “Elaine St. Claire”; Phil Fondocaro as “Malcolm Mallory” and “Torok” (titular troll). RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Whoah, is this … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL of LAME (LOVABLY BAD CINEMA): Goo-Lovin’ Giants … In their Own Village!

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD CINEMA) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Director: Bert Gordon with “Stars”: Beau Bridges, Tommy Kirk, Joy Harmon, Johnny Crawford, Ron Howard, Robert Random, Toni Basil, Vicki London, and other Assorted Aces of Awfulness RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Based (more loosely than a herd of rabid, wailing cows attempting to convincingly dance the Virginia … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL of LAME (LOVABLY BAD CINEMA): Goo-Lovin’ Giants … In their Own Village!