Tag: blog
+ Adventures in American Self-Loathing, Artwork, book reviews, comic strips, comics, Drive-By Captioning from Jonathan Kieran, Existential Prices by Jonathan Kieran, Jonathan Kieran Recommends, Satire, Uncategorized, zanzibar circus
Zanzibar Circus 2.18.19
_____________________________________________________________________________ Jonathan Kieran is the author of the Rowan Blaize series of epic contemporary fantasy books (Brightbourne 2012), as well as the critically acclaimed (Midwestern Book Review, Manhattan Book Review) Confessions From The Comments Section: The Secret Lives of Internet Commenters and Other Pop-Culture Zombies. He is also the creator of the comic strip Zanzibar Circus. Jonathan’s work has also been featured on The Daily … Read More Zanzibar Circus 2.18.19
+ Adventures in American Self-Loathing, Existential Prices by Jonathan Kieran, Literary Flotsam & Jetsam, Neighborhood Apocalypse Watch, Tectonic Shifts, Uncategorized
Grab The Good Moments and Never Let ‘Em Go, Fellow Homo Sapiens
Perch no longer upon painful pins and needles, Ye friends, readers, and oh-so-ardent admirers strewn across the whirling globe. Verily I say unto thee, an “update” has been born amid the creaking, ramshackle windmills of my brain. That being said, don’t get too excited, as this update is unlikely to rock your world or even rustle a few leaves upon the Autumnal Tree of … Read More Grab The Good Moments and Never Let ‘Em Go, Fellow Homo Sapiens
‘THE WORLD OF ROWAN BLAIZE’ CHARACTER PROFILES: “Aunt Ariadne” by Jonathan Kieran
A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most down-on-his-luck warlock you could possibly imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. ~The World of Rowan Blaize: Character Profiles~ The realm of ancient sorcerer Rowan Blaize is one in which otherwise hidden worlds collide with (or dwell alongside) our own mortal sphere. Rowan’s existence is played-out across landscapes and … Read More ‘THE WORLD OF ROWAN BLAIZE’ CHARACTER PROFILES: “Aunt Ariadne” by Jonathan Kieran
Pop HazMat RANT: We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming. Hell yeah. With some John Lennon Thrown-In.
POP HAZMAT IRREGULARITY A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. AT ISSUE: Margaret Thatcher’s DEATH REASON FOR RANT: Filthy disgusting inhumanity that — wait for it — is all-too-human. RANT: I’m tired of it. I’m shaking because I am so freaking tired of it. … Read More Pop HazMat RANT: We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming. Hell yeah. With some John Lennon Thrown-In.
POP HAZMAT HOF (ONE-HIT WONDER EDITION) “How Bizarre” by OMC
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME: ONE HIT WONDER EDITION by JONATHAN KIERAN (A warlock with troll-skin boots? Yeah. Amazon. Click to SET HIM FREE for $0.99) TODAY’S HONOREE: “How Bizarre” by OMC RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: The brainchild of New Zealand pop-funk group OMC (Otara Millionaire’s Club), this song could not be escaped by anyone alive and near a radio in the USA in 1997. That’s not … Read More POP HAZMAT HOF (ONE-HIT WONDER EDITION) “How Bizarre” by OMC
HAZMAT HOF presents CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! The Friendly Giant
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME: CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Friendly Giant brought to you by CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) 1958-1985 GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Producer Daniel McArthy, Robert Homme (The Friendly Giant), Rodney Coneybeare (Puppeteer) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: You Tube, of course, is great for any kind of retro “disAstral projection” because any kid’s show ever featured for even a minute on … Read More HAZMAT HOF presents CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! The Friendly Giant
HAZMAT-RETRO HOF (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) Charleston Chew Candy Mouth-Doom
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD ) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Charleston Chew Candy Bars (Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry and, sometimes, Banana) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Billed as “rich nougat covered in creamy chocolate” by its purveyors back in the day. We, however, would hazard a description more along the lines of: “Incisor-wrenching gum-hemorrhaging molar-murdering epoxy suitable for bricklaying and covered … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) Charleston Chew Candy Mouth-Doom
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL of LAME: Vienna Sausages …Good Enough for Lohan, Good Enough for You
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD ) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VIENNA SAUSAGES RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: In America, these dainties consist of the unspeakable parts of beef, pork and chicken combined with wiggly rat tails (for color), all thrown in a Secret Hadron Atom-Smasher located 5 miles beneath the earth near Vienna, Austria and transformed into pudgy little cylinders of Molded Maybe-Meat. DEFINITIVE … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL of LAME: Vienna Sausages …Good Enough for Lohan, Good Enough for You
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “You Spin Me (Like A Record)” by Dead or Alive (1985) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Lead singer Pete Burns for imitating Boy George imitating a rabid chicken imitating a goat being skewered alive up the wazoo with a rotisserie-spit. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: One of the most egregiously nauseating sonic pop-disturbances ever to assault human eardrums … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!
Pop HazMat Alert: PETA Weeps Over Abused Pool-Shark from Van Nuys … Kmart Circles Wagons
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Humane Group Probing Death of Shark in Kmart Commercial Shoot CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9. 5 (Near-Catastrophic. Target would have handled this with so much more dignity.] RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Despite frenzied attempts at revivification via oxygen and shots of adrenaline, a 5-ft. white-tipped shark died of likely humiliation after spending an undetermined amount of time in a “small above-ground pool” in … Read More Pop HazMat Alert: PETA Weeps Over Abused Pool-Shark from Van Nuys … Kmart Circles Wagons
Pop HazMat Alert: Don’t Make the Roach Ride in Coach!
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Greyhound Bus Forced to Pull Over After Cockroaches Complain About Infestation of Humans* CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 7.5 [Considerable. The cockroaches were not at all pleased with the quality of Greyhound’s human clientele and were worried about the spread of potential diseases, to say nothing of rather questionable moral standards.] RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: A Greyhound bus en route from Atlantic City to … Read More Pop HazMat Alert: Don’t Make the Roach Ride in Coach!
+ Magical Childhood
POP HAZMAT RETRO HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Skittles)
by Jonathan Kieran
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) by JONATHAN KIERAN A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: SKITTLES RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Taste the rainbow of flavors? I think not. More like: “Taste the upcoming abject collapse of your entire culture … Read More POP HAZMAT RETRO HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Skittles)