HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA) by Jonathan Kieran TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: TROLL (1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Noah Hathaway as “Harry Potter Jr.”; Michael Moriarty as “Harry Potter Sr.”; Julia Louis-Dreyfus as “Jeanette”; Sonny Bono as “Peter”; Shelley Hack as “Anne”; June Lockhart as “Elaine St. Claire”; Phil Fondocaro as “Malcolm Mallory” and “Torok” (titular troll). RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Whoah, is this … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “You Spin Me (Like A Record)” by Dead or Alive (1985) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Lead singer Pete Burns for imitating Boy George imitating a rabid chicken imitating a goat being skewered alive up the wazoo with a rotisserie-spit. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: One of the most egregiously nauseating sonic pop-disturbances ever to assault human eardrums … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Science Fiction Comes Alive as Researchers Grow Organs in Lab CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9.5 (Catastrophic) There is every likelihood that, given current trends in abhorrent human behavior, human organs could soon be grown and packaged as popular snacks and “What’s for dinner tonight?” solutions, rather than for medical purposes. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Scientists are using industrial detergents to basically frazzle-fry parts … Read More HazMat Headline Du Jour: Are Those Kidneys Sustainable? by Jonathan Kieran
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Humane Group Probing Death of Shark in Kmart Commercial Shoot CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9. 5 (Near-Catastrophic. Target would have handled this with so much more dignity.] RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Despite frenzied attempts at revivification via oxygen and shots of adrenaline, a 5-ft. white-tipped shark died of likely humiliation after spending an undetermined amount of time in a “small above-ground pool” in … Read More Pop HazMat Alert: PETA Weeps Over Abused Pool-Shark from Van Nuys … Kmart Circles Wagons