Tag: nostalgia

Classic Retro Kids’ TV On-the-Cheap by Jonathan Kieran: MR. DRESSUP

CLASSIC RETRO KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: MR. DRESSUP (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 1967-1996) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Ernie Coombs (Canada’s answer to Mr. Rogers … only a lot more caffeinated and likely to bounce off the cardboard walls) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Nothing touches the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) for producing tatty but creative kids’ shows that were built to last and … Read More Classic Retro Kids’ TV On-the-Cheap by Jonathan Kieran: MR. DRESSUP

He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly Fostering Body Dysmorphia since 1983! by Jonathan Kieran

POP HAZMAT RETRO HALL OF FAME presents Wonderfully Warped Children’s Television!by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: He-Man (1983-1985) and She-Ra (1985-1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: He-Man, She-Ra, Skeletor, Battle Cat, Teela and all the elves working Mattel’s Everlasting Assembly-line of Dysfunctional Dreams. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: If you were a trendy child growing-up in the 1980s and early 1990s, there’s little chance you escaped the pop-culture … Read More He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly Fostering Body Dysmorphia since 1983! by Jonathan Kieran

Songs That Made Childhood Magical … #SesameStreet

Okay, so a hitherto planned “Ten Best Meals I Ever Ate” List is not going to appear today. I’m on the fourth day of a complete fast/cleanse, i.e. no solid food and only lemon-water, honey and cayenne pepper to sustain me. Thus, my long and illustrious history of gastronomic adventure is the last thing I want to expound-upon, at the moment. Instead, we’ll opt for … Read More Songs That Made Childhood Magical … #SesameStreet

Because a Mind is a Terrible Thing to Warp … #Nostalgia

__ Jonathan Kieran is slowly withdrawing from contemporary human society in protest against a multitude of offenses against taste and decency, but that doesn’t mean you need to head for the hills. Stick around: some form of epic new work is slated for release in 2015. News in that regard is forthcoming. Jonathan is currently the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize books … Read More Because a Mind is a Terrible Thing to Warp … #Nostalgia

Don’t let the crocodile tears fool you. Little Karen plotted Frosty’s demise. #holidaycheer

I confess to undergoing a somewhat disturbing phase in my youth–one in which I imagined utterly cheerless “alternative plots” and dark, warped endings to various beloved Christmas cartoons (particularly ones featuring cherubic little girls who were really snow-murderesses in disguise). I’m getting the help I need, but admit to being thrilled when Frosty first met his Rankin & Bass doom. Frosty was such a … Read More Don’t let the crocodile tears fool you. Little Karen plotted Frosty’s demise. #holidaycheer

Yeah, we know what those kindergarten books were really trying to say. #funwithdickandjane

POP HAZMAT “CAPTURED MOMENTS” presents EAVESDROPPING at the OUTSKIRTS of EXCESS by JONATHAN KIERAN _______________ While Jonathan works to complete his new novel (slated for release in Spring 2014) blogging will be swift, light, fun and generally of the “drive-by captioning” variety. Meanwhile, if you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and … Read More Yeah, we know what those kindergarten books were really trying to say. #funwithdickandjane

The things a star will do when denture ads just won’t pay the rent! #nostalgia

POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “Benita Bizarre” (The Bugaloos, 1970-1971, NBC) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Martha Raye RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Denture commercials were clearly not paying enough cold hard $$$ to keep an aging Hollywood train-wreck in the style to which she had become accustomed in the 1970s. All Martha Raye needed back then was enough nickel to … Read More The things a star will do when denture ads just won’t pay the rent! #nostalgia

When it came to rotting teeth in the ’80s, Sugar Bear left no child behind! #nostalgia #kidkibble

POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID KIBBLE of YESTERYEAR! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: SUGAR CRISP (Post Cereals 1949-2013) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Sugar Crisp was a cereal of sugar-saturated puffed wheat-pellets introduced by Post Cereals in 1949 to the future enrichment and summer lake-house construction opportunities of dentists across the United States. There is perhaps no more definitive example of classic child-kibble than this popular product, … Read More When it came to rotting teeth in the ’80s, Sugar Bear left no child behind! #nostalgia #kidkibble

Remember Boo Berry Crunch cereal? Sugar-coated necromancy in a box. #popculture #nostalgia #drunkmoms

POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID-KIBBLE from YESTERYEAR by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: BOO BERRY CRUNCH CEREAL (General Mills) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: As one of a trilogy of “monster-themed” cereals introduced by General Mills in the mid-1970s (along with Frankenberry and Count Chocula) Boo Berry Crunch was touted by its makers as “the first cereal to ever taste like blueberries.” I have some good friends … Read More Remember Boo Berry Crunch cereal? Sugar-coated necromancy in a box. #popculture #nostalgia #drunkmoms

He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly fostering body dysmorphic disorders since 1983!

POP HAZMAT RETRO HALL OF FAME presents Wonderfully Warped Children’s Television!by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: He-Man (1983-1985) and She-Ra (1985-1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: He-Man, She-Ra, Skeletor, Battle Cat, Teela and all the elves working Mattel’s Everlasting Assembly-line of Dysfunctional Dreams. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: If you were a trendy child growing-up in the 1980s and early 1990s, there’s little chance you escaped the pop-culture … Read More He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly fostering body dysmorphic disorders since 1983!

Sally Field cringes today at her Flying Nun career-choice, but it inspired Richard Branson’s Virgin Air. #NOT

GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10! Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE. __________________________________ HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME presents LOVABLY TWEE TV! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Flying Nun (1967-1970 ABC) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Sally Field, Alejandro … Read More Sally Field cringes today at her Flying Nun career-choice, but it inspired Richard Branson’s Virgin Air. #NOT

POP HAZMAT QUESTIONABLE CHILDHOOD CANDY HALL OF FAME: “STARBURST” by Jonathan Kieran

GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10! Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE. __________________________________ HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME: LOVABLY QUESTIONABLE CANDY FROM CHILDHOOD! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: STARBURST FRUIT CHEWS! RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: What follows is a (verbatim) “flashback … Read More POP HAZMAT QUESTIONABLE CHILDHOOD CANDY HALL OF FAME: “STARBURST” by Jonathan Kieran