Tag: satire

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD TV) “Day of the Animals” posted by Jonathan Kieran

A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most down-on-his-luck warlock you could possibly imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD TV) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Day of the Animals (1977) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: (The Late and Beloved) Leslie Nielsen, Lynda Day George, Christopher George RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Oh, … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD TV) “Day of the Animals” posted by Jonathan Kieran

POP HAZMAT HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Necco Wafers, AKA Lucifer’s Eucharist)

NOTE TO GOODREADS COMMUNITY: HANG TIGHT — WE’RE GOING TO BE DOING SOME WONDERFUL GIVEAWAYS VERY SOON AND TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND SUPPORT ~Jonathan K. HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. … Read More POP HAZMAT HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Necco Wafers, AKA Lucifer’s Eucharist)

DON’T BE CRUEL: THE ONLY LINDSAY LOHAN POST YOU WILL EVER SEE ON POP HAZMAT

A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. AT ISSUE: Lindsay Lohan and the Repulsive Ghoulishness of American Society CASE IN POINT: Actress, universal laughing-stock and young woman Lindsay Lohan took to the David Letterman set the other night and more than held her own … Read More DON’T BE CRUEL: THE ONLY LINDSAY LOHAN POST YOU WILL EVER SEE ON POP HAZMAT

POP HAZMAT RETRO HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Skittles)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) by JONATHAN KIERAN A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: SKITTLES RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Taste the rainbow of flavors? I think not. More like: “Taste the upcoming abject collapse of your entire culture … Read More POP HAZMAT RETRO HOF: LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD (Skittles)

HAZMAT HOF presents CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! The Friendly Giant

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME: CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Friendly Giant brought to you by CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) 1958-1985 GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Producer Daniel McArthy, Robert Homme (The Friendly Giant), Rodney Coneybeare (Puppeteer) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: You Tube, of course, is great for any kind of retro “disAstral projection” because any kid’s show ever featured for even a minute on … Read More HAZMAT HOF presents CLASSIC KIDS’ TV ON-THE-CHEAP! The Friendly Giant

HAZMAT-RETRO SATIRE: Questionable Toys for Tots (The Pole-Dance Doll)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME (QUESTIONABLE TOYS FOR TOTS) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Pole-Dance Doll! by Whizmodo RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Yes, this doll was ACTUALLY manufactured and tainting toy-store shelves a few years ago, inching the world ever closer to a direct-hit by an asteroid or a galloping visit from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. This is why minds like mine … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO SATIRE: Questionable Toys for Tots (The Pole-Dance Doll)

HAZMAT-RETRO HOF (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) Charleston Chew Candy Mouth-Doom

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD ) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Charleston Chew Candy Bars (Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry and, sometimes, Banana) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Billed as “rich nougat covered in creamy chocolate” by its purveyors back in the day. We, however, would hazard a description more along the lines of: “Incisor-wrenching gum-hemorrhaging molar-murdering epoxy suitable for bricklaying and covered … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) Charleston Chew Candy Mouth-Doom

HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968) Dutch name: Paulus de boskabouter. GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Jan van Oort, the creator of Paulus the Woodgnome and all puppets and sets used in each gripping 10-minute episode of the late-1960s show. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC). Julian Bulieau and other “writers and manipulators.” RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: When I was … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968)

Pop HazMat Alert: American Birds Migrating (For Their Very Lives) to North Korea?

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: North Korean Film Claims Americans Eat Snow, Live in Tents, Shoot Children CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT:6.5 = Significant, particularly if North Koreans derived this intelligence from Dennis Rodman (see photo above). RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: North Korea, a nation with an infrastructure held together by masticated wads of Kleenex, several rolls of used Saran wrap and three tattered old Air Jordan shoestrings, is … Read More Pop HazMat Alert: American Birds Migrating (For Their Very Lives) to North Korea?

Pop HazMat Alert: Don’t “Pet the Dolphin”!

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins from Ukraine on the Loose CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 2 & 1/2. Negligible, particularly if killer dolphins are armed with mines and speeding toward infamous Carnival Cruise ship, Triumph, AKA “Fabled Floating City of Fecalopolis.” Potential for positive cultural contribution significant. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Lovable sea-mammals, approachable in New Age “swim-with-the-dolphins” pseudo-spiritual encounters, can likewise be trained to … Read More Pop HazMat Alert: Don’t “Pet the Dolphin”!