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HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME presents LOVABLY TWEE TV! by JONATHAN KIERAN
TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Flying Nun (1967-1970 ABC)
GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Sally Field, Alejandro Rey, Marge Redmond, Shelley Morrison
RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: A novice nun has the ability to fly when wearing her aerodynamic habit. Her convent is always short on funds to help the poor but “Sister Bertrille” is spunky and a tad conniving … in a beatific “milk & cookies” sort of way. Fundraising gimmicks, yacht-dwelling playboys and weekly villains abound. The setting is scintillating Puerto Rico. Hijinks ensue. You can see the strings when she soars. A CLASSIC IS BORN.
DEFINITIVE DIALOGUE: “If Mr. Trouble comes knocking on my door, it’s usually Sister Bertrille that gave him the address.” (“Carlos Ramirez” as played by Alejandro Rey)
BRUSH WITH GREATNESS: Two of this cute little fluff-show’s stars went on to greater fame and fortune outside the confines of the Convent San Tanco. Sally Field wowed audiences and awards-committees playing everything from the archetypal MPD/DID sufferer (Sybil) to the archetypal Southern factory-gal cum union rabble-rouser (Norma Rae). Millions came to like her; they really really liked her. Shelley Morrison later made big bank and gave millions of gay men a lifetime supply of withering one-liners as sybarite Karen Walker’s wisecracking maid, Rosario, on the groundbreaking Will and Grace show.
LEGACY: Flew the flag for virgin air-travel long before Richard Branson hit his stride. BE WARNED: Nuns with Magical Headgear inspire people to become either billionaires or Nick at Nite addicts covered in the clammy flopsweat of obsessive nostalgia … somewhere in the dreadful dark of Mom & Dad’s basement.
EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC: They sure don’t make nuns like they used to. We would’ve been much more attentive in school if Sister could pull stunts like this.
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …
Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)
Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that might just destroy the world.
Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.
Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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Rowan Blaize Official Website