POP HAZMAT-RETRO CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN
TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “HEXADECIMAL” from the classic 1990s computer-themed Reboot cartoon (1994-2002)
RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Shrill, excessively dramatic, possibly emphysematous and Borderline Personality Disordered digital sorceress/Super-Virus inhabiting (and terrorizing) the computerized cartoon Internet world called “Mainframe.” Owns familiar named “Scuzzy.” Handy with malware spells. Witch who packs a mean glitch. Can out-cackle & out-camp Charles Nelson Reilly on his best day. Looks suspiciously like Liza Minnelli’s most recent ex-husband dressed for a perverse Halloween Ball in West Hollywood.
DEFINITIVE DIALOGUE: “I adore children! But I could never eat a whole one.”
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Earning scale working as part-time screensaver on Lady Chablis’s dressing-room laptop. Campaigning for role as lead understudy in rumored Patti Lupone animated biography.
It’s tough to fight typecasting, especially for witches trapped in a never-ending tranny’s nightmare.
EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC: Behold Hexadecimal … in all of her mainframe wicked bitchery.
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …
Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.
Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)
Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.
Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.
Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
Barnes and Noble
Rowan Blaize Official Website