Jonathan will be launching his revamped Official Website along with the first project in his new multimedia production company at some time in February, 2015. Things are taking a little bit longer than expected, but good things arrive when they are least expected. Sometimes. Bear with us as we prepare for the coming launch and, of course, a thousand thanks for your patience. You are thoroughly and indubitably appreciated.
“Good heavens, Meg! It says here that Jonathan Kieran is going to take his twisted sense of humor and chronic, free-floating penchant for sarcasm in ‘new and hitherto unexpected directions’ when his revamped website launches in February!”
“I can bloody well believe it, Helen. Mr. Kieran has never been anything less than an infuriating and bellicose little slice of sardonic pie. It’s a wonder any of us have minds left at all, after years of reading his confounding pontifications. I say we take-up the perusal of more life-affirming cyber material. Perhaps the Daily Mail Entertainment section, or Deepak Chopra?”
“But Meg, what if we miss some insightful and illuminating glimpse into the deteriorating human condition? What if we are deprived of a witty bon mot that could change our lives for the better? I mean, I realize that hasn’t even come close to happening while reading Kieran’s nonsense, but it jolly well could. Don’t you think we should hang-on and see what he’s up to? At least ’til the end of the month?”
“You and your tortured cyber-satirists, Helen! I do declare–you’re attracted them like … well, like a cat to a rancid fish pie left out-of-doors in the sweltering summer for a fortnight. Hang-on yourself and let us know if Mr. Kieran produces anything worth all of this infernal bother. Tibby and I have decided to follow Madonna’s Twitter account. We hear it’s positively rife with gems of existential brilliance. Now. Enough of this rubbish. The Kardashians come on at nine. Upstairs with the lot of us. Annie will bring the tea and vomit-bags.”
Jonathan Kieran 
Dear Schlegels,
How can you even consider not craving for Jonathan’s twisted, brain washing stories anymore? What happened to German loyalty and your fine-tuned cultural nerves? Leaving Jonathan at this cross road would be like changing your favorite soccer team in mid season, seriously – how can you even THINK about it – after all this years!!!!!
When Jonathan asks you “Do you want total ridicule?! You bloody well have to shout “YES!!!”
Capice? Alles klar?
Mit freundliche Grüßen