Jonathan Kieran

The bar—part of a small chain that opened in 2019—was called ‘The Virgin Mary.’

I can only imagine the rollicking, bloody Saturday nights that must’ve transpired in a boozeless pub named after Jesus’s Mom. In Dublin.

When someone bought the house a round of O’Doul’s did the bartender ring a church bell? Pause to say a decade of the rosary?

It’s like opening a sex-free brothel in Amsterdam and calling it ‘Hazmat.’

Nice try, folks, but this world craves wanton depravity and lots of it. Back to the drawing board.

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