Jonathan Kieran

The first portion of my headline is frankly self-explanatory. Those possessed of a unibrow are clearly bedeviled and hardly worthy of institutional veneration, much less any glimpse of beatific vision in the hypothetical afterlife (Yes, I’m talking about YOU, Lucia dos Santos, you grifting little baggage. A cockeyed, unruly imagination and proclivity for deceiving the ignorant into a state of mass-delusion do not a saint make!)

The second portion of my headline can be explained HERE and applies almost across the proverbial board to anything involving Florida Man. “Just don’t!” could be an all-encompassing war-cry or slogan useful for anyone who comes within appreciable proximity to Florida Man. Please feel free to spread the word.

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