Jonathan Kieran

A black widow spider, as a particular species of arachnids, may indeed be described properly as “infamous” or even “notorious” due to the potency of its venom and its potential significance for medical science and study, but it is not friggin’ “iconic.”

“Distinctive,” because of their typical red hourglass markings? Certainly.

“Renowned” because of their longstanding reputation for eating their male counterparts after sexual intercourse? Sure.

But “iconic”? Grow UP and learn how to employ the English language properly, you besotted and unaware post-Structuralist, Foucault butt-smooching relativists.

The Oxford Dictionary defines the term “iconic” as:

relating to or of the nature of an icon; regarded as a representative symbol or as worthy of veneration.

An icon is an image of wider (or far-reaching) symbolic importance portraying or encapsulating a distinct feature/facet or idea meaningful to a specific culture or society. (MY on-the-spot definition, and it’s the correct one.)

A black widow spider is not an icon. A black widow spider is not to be venerated. (Don’t get me started on the meaning of that term, which most people today don’t even recognize, anyhow.) Nor is a black widow spider any more “representative” as a symbol of arachnids than the jumping spider or the brown recluse spider.

To say that a black widow spider is “iconic” is tantamount to saying that a venus flytrap plant is “iconic” or that kudzu is “iconic” or that curtains are “iconic.”

The obvious truth is that people are lazily substituting the word “iconic” for anything that is considered famous or infamous or just widely recognized.

Cut that shit out. It’s incorrect and weakens the power of the actual term, thus diminishing the effectiveness of clear human communication. I am as fascinated by spiders as much as the next dashingly handsome and exceptionally intelligent creature-geek, but the English language has been (and continues to be) butchered enough. Stop this ensnaring web-work of grammatical insanity!

Thanks much.

[Look for Jonathan Kieran’s fabulous new—as yet untitled—book of hundreds of witty, cynical, zeitgeist-rocking, and knee-slappingly clever cartoons of Pure Smartassery in 2024! Stay tuned for developing news and previews.]

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