Jonathan Kieran

When alligators start shopping regularly for meat in an exclusive, elite community like Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, you know we are beginning to see a thoroughly unfair economic disparity between predatory reptiles enjoying some sort of “green privilege” while their poor, Floridian swamp-dwelling counterparts must subsist upon muskrats.

This injustice needs to be addressed.

(Seriously, though, the fact that a gator nabbed another rich old country club lady while she was out walking her dog in a ritzy locale like Hilton Head is shocking for a number of reasons. These people can easily afford round-the-clock alligator security. The details are grim. Many condolences to the woman’s family, which must surely still be reeling from the incident. RIPes.)

[Look for Jonathan Kieran’s fabulous new—as yet untitled—book of hundreds of witty, cynical, zeitgeist-rocking, and knee-slappingly clever cartoons of Pure Smartassery in 2024! Stay tuned for developing news and previews.]

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