Jonathan Kieran

New details are emerging about the stunning fight Australian surfer Toby Begg put up against a 15-ft. Great White Shark that took one of his legs in the waters off Port Macquarie. Not only did 44 year-old Begg battle against the relentless attack of the beast for what onlookers described as an excruciating 30-second fight for sheer survival, but after repelling the shark and seizing an opportunity, Begg actually SWAM to shore without realizing the extent of his horrific injuries.

Just imagine THIRTY SECONDS of adrenaline-swamped terror as you try to keep a one-and-a-half ton sea demon with steak-knives for teeth from slicing and dicing you into sushi. It must have seemed like an eternity. Or did it pass in a flash? Only on the beach, perilously close to death, did Toby benefit from the aid and quick thinking of onlookers (including an off-duty doctor) who fought to stem the blood loss from his wrecked lower extremities.

If this courageous bloke survives—and let’s pray he does—the story is bound to become even more astonishing as details unfold. Way to fight, Toby Begg … but the fight has just begun. His family must be out of their minds with worry. Toby may be out if the water, but he isn’t out of the woods.

Godspeed.

[Look for Jonathan Kieran’s fabulous new—as yet untitled—book of hundreds of witty, cynical, zeitgeist-rocking, and knee-slappingly clever cartoons of Pure Smartassery in 2024! Stay tuned for developing news and previews.]

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