Jonathan Kieran

Get a load of this nonsense.

Next these “journalists” and “researchers” will be insisting that Alexander the Great arranged for her to go shopping for clothes at a ritzy bazaar in Babylon, but the sales-ladies found her common and unsavory, basically telling her to “Move it along, Toots.”

Then, our elite sex-worker finds a sympathetic local innkeeper who arranges for an exclusive tour of competing shops and, dressed to the nines in her newly purchased glad-rags, she returns to the original bazaar with her radiant makeover and straw baskets full of accessories, saying to the snobby sales-gals, “You work on commission, don’t you? I was at this bazaar the other day and you refused to assist me.” She flourishes her assortment of hand-woven flax lingerie and goes scorched-earth on the recalcitrant Babylonian salesladies with a final, blazing assertion:

”Big mistake. BIG mistake. I went to a competing bazaar and got these fabulous outfits because I’m not only shagging the entire Macedonian army, but I’m getting boinked by Alexander himself. Take that, you bitches. Now, have a great day and may Astarte wither your nether-regions until they have the shape and texture of dried figs.”

Yeah, it happened just like that because, you know, archaeologists and journalists are experts at scientific speculation.

Heaven help the innocent ignorant.

[Jonathan is busy writing and illustrating and finishing a whole slew of projects in preparation for upcoming major releases. Don’t expect a helluva lot of bloggin’ to get done unless something really strikes his fancy. Be patient. Marvelous things are on the way.]

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