Jonathan Kieran

An Aussie bloke allegedly skilled in the art of “Brazilian jujitsu,” (which is played with fruit atop one’s hat, a la Carmen Miranda?) was waltzing Matilda around an old billabong and noticed that one of his unleashed dogs was missing.

Lo and behold! In the water stood a 7 foot tall, roided-out male kangaroo holding some sort of animal under the murky and muddy swimming hole. Indeed, the Roo King was busy drowning one of the fellow’s pit-bull mixes, which had apparently chased the behemoth Punching Rodent into the soup for its safety to begin with.

Hell, if a pit-bull swam out to get me, there’d be some drowning going on.

Whull, the stalwart Aussie guy, who had every good intention of rescuing his unleashed and fanged marauder, promptly donned his hat of bananas, pineapple, mangos, and cheerful nectarines and waded in to unleash the deadly force of that Brazilian jujitsu on the Roo happily dunking the dog toward the afterlife of Doggie Hell, where all recalcitrant pit-bulls must verily go.

“I’m gonna punch yew in the feckin gob ‘n’ mesmerize yew with these here banannies on me noggin’ and maybe shove a pineapple up yer jacksie, as well!” the jujitsu de Janeiro practitioner proclaimed to the roo.

He took a swing, bravely, at the waterlogged Mega Rat, his dog escaped its grip and swam for its miserable life, and the Roo proceeded to kick the pretty produce out of our MMA multiculturalist’s bum.

A cornered and angry male kangaroo can accomplish such things, especially against fellows like this. (Really, he should have employed Guatemalan jujitsu—everyone knows that THAT’S the can of whoop-ass you open on a hormonally charged Roo-Beastie.)

For photos (because of course the numb-nuts was filming his dog being drowned even as he tried to launch a water-based offensive against his tatty-eared foe—gotta get that content!) read the piece at THIS LINK and be astonished.

Male kangaroos put in serious time at the gyms and have their claws sharpened at least every other Tuesday at the finest salons Adelaide can boast. You don’t want to mess with them, no matter how much fiber you stack atop your cranium.

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[Jonathan is busy writing and illustrating and finishing a whole slew of projects in preparation for upcoming major releases. Don’t expect a helluva lot of bloggin’ to get done unless something really strikes his fancy. Be patient. Marvelous things are on the way.]

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