Jonathan Kieran

Researchers off the coast of Loppa, Norway, documented some “first of its kind footage” of a male orca being culled by the Grim Reaper and slowly sinking down, down, down into the ocean depths. This occurred after several attempts by younger males in the pod to keep the elderly orca (known to local scientists as “Hunchy”) from spiraling his way to Davy Jones’s Locker.

That part was kind of poignant and it was interesting to note that old “Hunchy” was just around 35 years old—apparently orcas do not live particularly long lives in the open ocean or may be susceptible to more detrimental conditions and illnesses while struggling to survive amid the rigors of The Briny.

But I have to say that orcas are seemingly much kinder to each other than they are to their animal prey: at the bottom of this LiveScience article is a clip of another orca giddily tormenting a poor sea turtle rather than snacking on the terrified thing and getting the job done efficiently and mercifully.

These are among the reasons why I do not favor orcas as much as the average human suckers-for-sealife do, and prefer the majesty of large Great White Shark specimens. They don’t mess around and disembowel their food as soon as sharkily possible.

In fact, seeing as ol’ Hunchy was dead as dreams and plunging slowly to the bottom of the sea, one might hope that, after the gasses of putrefaction cause him to float back up to the surface like other whales that have “bought the farm,” we might get a look at some footage of Hunchy being munchied by a gathering of large Great White Sharks taking their turns.

Start with the liver, fellas!

(That being said, we here at JonathanKieran.com are appropriately mournful at the news of Hunchy’s demise and wish his spirit a speedy journal to Killer Whale heaven or at least to Orca Purgatory, if he was a Catholic cetacean.)

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[A scintillating new shocker-of-a-novel by Jonathan Kieran is slated for major release in Spring 2024 so clear your calendars, book lovers. This one is built for speed. Stay tuned for more … ]

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