Jonathan Kieran

THIS IS one of those quintessentially American stories that makes a person swell with pride at the thought of so many possibilities for idiocy looming across the vast lunatic asylum that has become the USA.

Only in America can dome random dude experience a RELIGIOUS EPIPHANY while watching an M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie (Signs, in this case) and then express his newfound evangelical fervor by dressing up as The Grinch on Texas street-corners while brandishing a sign that tells kids Santa Claus is not real.

There are all sorts of layers of uniquely weird and dissonant American Crazy loaded into this scenario, beginning with the very idea that a human being could ever experience a metaphysical epiphany while soaking-in the art of M. Night DingDongShamaJamaLan. It’s akin to having a vision of the Virgin Mary baked into a chalupa from Taco Bell, framing said chalupa in your second bedroom, and charging admission to faithful crawling in on their knees for a gander at your holy fast-food.

The Grinch outfit described above completes the psychotic ensemble to perfection, along with the zealous, sadistic urge to steal—in public, no less—a precious bit of childhood delusion from tiny tots all aglow, thereby launching them precipitously into a life of nihilism and over-attachment to online gaming and incoherently militant activism, probably.

We are officially unglued, folks … as if anyone doesn’t realize this already. Unglued in America, the Land of the Freeeeeeaks.

Fly them flags with extra chutzpah this Holiday Season!

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[A scintillating new shocker-of-a-novel by Jonathan Kieran is slated for major release in Spring 2024 so clear your calendars, book lovers. This one is built for speed. Stay tuned for more … ]

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