Jonathan Kieran

Poor young girl. Loses a hand and her entire right leg to the predation of an aggressive bull shark while swimming merrily near Pensacola. While sharks must be protected as crucial apex predators, the weenies need to cease the mantra that “humans are not really food for sharks.” It’s absurd. If you’re in the water and they are hungry, you are on the menu and they will gladly swallow and digest your parts. This young girl, Lulu, is in for lifetime trauma. Glad she’s alive, but, man oh man. Lay on the beach and let the surf wash safely over you, kids. That’ll cool you off on a hot day. If you want to do laps, find a pool. The ocean is not your habitat.

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