Jonathan Kieran

Another taipan snake has bitten an Australian youth. In this most recent case, the dreaded inland taipan (the most venomous terrestrial snake on earth) bit a 17 year-old boy as the fellow was apparently trying to feed the snake a mouse.

Yeah.

Authorities are still investigating the circumstances under which any sentient near-adult might be offering a snack to a feared serpent that boasts natural toxin sufficient to kill 100 human beings with just one drop of venom, but no conclusions have been reported, thus far.

I’m a bit curious myself. What scenario, exactly, features a teen with a dead(?) mouse in his hand and a taipan snake nearby at the very same moment? The most natural conclusion is that the boy was keeping a captured taipan as a “pet” in some sort of terrarium and was bitten by this formidable snake while trying to feed it.

That is only conjecture, at this point, but if true, the entire scenario would be not only illegal but colossally stupid.

At all events, this news comes on the heels of a genuine tragedy in which the two year-old child of an Australian couple suffered permanent brain damage as the result of three successive bites from a coastal taipan only a few weeks ago. That poor child will need care for the rest of his life.

Harrowing stuff. The moral of the story: don’t go near any snake in Australia unless you are a professional herpetologist or pest control associate. Forget about the taipan—a common Australian brown snake is likewise deadly, so friendly mouse-feedings are not recommended under any circumstances. Tall thick boots in the outback or just on the farm are probably a good idea, too.

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[ A new novel by Jonathan Kieran is slated for major international release in March 2025 so brace yourselves and think of England. This stuff is built for speed. Stay tuned for more info. ] 

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