”And now, I and my tongue-speaking hoochie mama, here, are going to ask the fine folks out there in TV Land to send their life-savings to us so that the WORD can be spread to all the unclean heathen bastards populating this godly planet. And you little old ladies on fixed incomes had better start coughing-up that grocery money you’ve got squirreled away or Satan is going to make sure your withered netherparts are impaled for eternity on demonic pitchforks. Hallelujah! Send that MONEY, sinful slobs! Can’t you see that my wife has an unstoppable wig-addiction that must be satisfied and I, frankly, enjoy nothing more than gorging myself on fine food, shitting it out into a jade toilet bowel the next morning, and having an underling wipe my scrawny vampire-ass with toilet paper made from gold-leaf. This is Christianity, people! God WANTS us to enjoy these benefits. Well, He wants me to enjoy them … not suckers like you. Can I hear an amen?”
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#BarelySatire #TheyAreBothDead
[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable for all ages by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release June 17, 2025. ]
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Jonathan Kieran 
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