Jonathan Kieran

… is this goddamned cubic zirconia? Fuck THAT! I am Galadriel, greatest of the Noldor, except for Feanor, maybe, and that’s a huge MAYBE. And where is he? DEAD. I am his equal and wiser. That’s why got on the boat to heaven after 5,000 freakin years in purgatory. Still, I made it REAL PRETTY … but was it due to my native power or this sketchy bling? Ehhh, it was me. When this thing lost its juice I still roto-rootered an entire fortress at Dol Goldur on my own steam. I’m beginning to think these baubles were weak plot devices. BUT you didn’t hear that from me, this side of Valinor.”

————————