Ohhhhhhh, no way. Forget the fact that these two have faces like Asian silkworms and MATCHING HAIRDOS potentially SPUN by silkworms … these “Gospelettes” (yeah, read the craptastic album graphics) were created by resentful Japanese post-war spies for ONE PURPOSE ONLY.
To summon the caterpillar monster Mothra and destroy important parts of Arkansas and about 1/4 of Kentucky.
Do not doubt: once these magical She-Twits combine their voices and segue from “Blessed Assurance” into the ritual super Super SUPER-Indonesian tropical spell that conjures a mammoth larva built like one of Brigitte Macron’s daily lady-turds, the silk-spewing monster of doom will rise from the seas just off Myrtle Beach and skooch-on-over to the states most deserving of utter destruction.
”Mothra! Mothra!
Humba humba, por squidgy dik-dik Ho! Bethumper, my asshole wappy slappy GO!
Mothra! Mothra!
Coochie, zun stink of underwear! Yak-smack me geseutdteit in our HAIR!
Mothra! Mothra!
Bun-bun pickles half to Arkansas! Pick nickles, stick them in our crawwwww!
Mothra! Mothra!
The more you play their bestselling album, currently coveted by all the most energetic record-buying kids under age 21, the sooner you will bring about the ruin of two states that most people would not miss nor be able to locate on a map.
The choice is yours. Enable these Pentecostal pixies to conjure cataclysm or send $50 to STOP THE CHARISMATIC MOTHRA BITCHES.
If not, be prepared to lose a significant portion of your Southern “deliverance” real estate portfolio.
The moment these two open their pieholes, a gigantic, angry Japanese worm will eat your fourth cousins.
———
[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable for all ages by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release January 20, 2026]
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Jonathan Kieran 
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