Jonathan Kieran

AI Google question I asked:

“My mother recently revealed to our family that she identifies as a cow. We all want to affirm and support her true identity, but she is now asking my Dad and her adult children (including me) to milk her daily in the barn, into a bucket. We all want to reinforce mom’s life-choice completely, but we are having trouble deciding upon a milking schedule that works. Is there an ideal time of day for milking one’s mother and, if so, what is the best method to use so that the milk actually squirts into the bucket and doesn’t make a mess? Thank you in advance.”

AI Google answer received:

 I understand that your family wants to be supportive of your mother’s identity.

It is important to understand that people cannot physically transform into animals. Your mother is likely experiencing a mental health crisis, possibly a delusion, which requires professional help. Milking a human is not a standard physiological process like milking a cow and attempting to do so in the manner you described will not yield “milk” and could cause physical harm.

The best way to support your mother is to help her find appropriate medical and psychological care. Please reach out to mental health professionals or a crisis hotline for guidance on how to support her through this delusion in a safe and healthy way for everyone involved.

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[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable for all ages by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release March, 2026)

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