Jonathan Kieran

I discovered a new recipe for grilling these feisty members of the fairy kingdom—an original concoction by rubenesque telecooker, Ina Garten, who frequently finds the impish spirits lurking around her lush garden. They can even get into the house, at times. Once, Ina apparently caught seven of them running-off with an item from her panty-drawer. Upon catching the culprits in a cage, they confessed that they were going to use the Garten garment as a party-tent for a cousin’s marriage ceremony (crowd of sixty). The sneaky creepers apologized but Garten decided to cook them, anyhow, seeing as they were already in her nefarious clutches and supper was only two hours away.

I found her instructions easy to follow after I went hunting and gathering for my own pixies. I only managed to snag four who happened to be harassing a hummingbird near one of my feeders, but these California fey varietals have a tangy quality all their own!

Prep was easy, if you do them Ina’s way. First, remove all of their little pixie garments—even the sparkly suspenders—and soak them for about an hour in a covered Dutch Oven filled with two inches of chicken stock, minced garlic, and a chipotle rub. It is recommended that the inexperienced gourmand wear oyster-shucking gloves during this process because the angry little buggers do bite when handled and pixie-sepsis is the last thing you want to endure when whipping-up a tasty luncheon or some appetizers for a small dinner party. Also, be on the lookout for dust-throwing. They aim for the eyes when being marinated but if you douse their heads in a bit of high quality extra virgin olive oil they become completely disoriented and any magical spells or substances are duly neutralized.

The rest is fairly simple: after soaking, place them in an air fryer at 325 degrees for 30 minutes until crunchy and succulent. (Pay no attention to their screams and pleas for mercy during this brief process—they stop the bloodcurdling wails after a minute or so, anyhow.)

After this, serve them piping hot on a white bistro platter and garnish with cilantro. A pesto vinaigrette dipping sauce is highly recommended; the basil seems to be the ideal compliment to the taste of sheer terror that flavors their frazzled forms during cooking. Hold them by their heads and don’t be afraid to get your fingers greasy: strip their legs of flesh, first, much as you would do to a buffalo wing, and then nibble freely at the tender portions of the torso. Viscera and bones may be consumed as a delicacy or placed discreetly in little ceramic soufflé ramekins provided for your less intrepid gastronomic guests. Their heads are crunchy but satisfying and the brain matter dazzles the palette with sumptuous layers of flavor reminiscent of grilled baby Brussels sprouts.

This is a meal the entire family can enjoy and leftovers store marvelously in Tupperware for a few days in the fridge. Keep in mind that pixie season is at its peak in temperate regions especially after heavy rains, when the male and female parents leave their cozy homes in oak trees to forage for their offspring. Have a ball gathering these delectable beings and don’t be afraid to try your own variations when it comes to a zesty marinade.

(Do keep in mind that pixies employ some of the foulest language imaginable when being readied for the fryer, so it’s probably best to keep the kiddies out of the kitchen while you work. Otherwise, bon appetit!)

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[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release May 19, 2026 ]

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