Jonathan Kieran

Yeahhhhh. I grew up as wee kid who was enthralled by the first film (after which I aged-out like most normal spawn) and I must aver that Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Darth Vader were the breakout stars of that beloved classic. Yoda rocks, forever, as an afterthought.

Luke was rather vanilla … as was the acting by “Dorth(y) Hamill,” in my opinion. When his pants fell down around his ankles at some awards show a couple of years ago, I think his asking-prices should have fallen in tandem. The fact that this desperado has a $700 category described as “BULKY” speaks volumes. I’d have more respect for him if he advertised, “OBESE, SLOVENLY, GROTESQUE PHOTO OF MY GREEDY GODDAMN MUG” for $700.

But not much more respect.

When will Star Wars fans remove themselves from the cross? They’ve been the best fans in the world and they deserve better. Much better. Then again, the entire world deserved better, after the first three films.

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[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release May 19, 2026 ]

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