Ehhh, there’s a dust-up on some garbage media sites (all of them, essentially) regarding the sale of a massive milk chocolate Easter Bunny by Costco that weighs around 10 pounds and costs over $100.
Big FREAKING WHUP.
The people of this nation have lost all sense of celebration, even if they live in a sphere of abject DISCONNECT from the holidays they still choose to honor in one way or another.
My parents bought “us kids” chocolate Easter Bunnies just as big, just as yummy, and just as expensive (back then) as the ones Costco is peddling now.
Well, not $100 worth of brown bunny.
But they’d go to a proper chocolatier, bordering uber-Catholic Quebec, and spend $15 for a sugary rabbit that all three of us parasite-children could hunt-down in its hidden place behind a chair, tear-open, subdue, and gorge-upon.
Easter MEANT something, then.
Well, I was raised partly by my grandmother so I knew the Catholic meaning of the holy day, always, but I found no dissonance between the resurrected Logos and a tasty rodent best eaten from the ears downward, as a kiddie.
When my late Mom embraced Pentecostalism, the whole game was off. No more bunnies. No more celebration. No more colored eggs.
Just TONGUES.
And they weren’t chocolate-covered.
Leave COSTCO Easter Bunnies ALONE, you bastards!
(Children of Earth: if your parents quail at purchasing a proper, gigantic, chocolate Easter Bunny for your wanton consumption next week, just ask any adult relative who has a grudge against your parents to investigate their credit cards and you will discover that your Mom ‘n’ Dad have been racking-up their credit to the max on adulterous “Swinger” vacations and secret listening devices. This is money that should be going to YOUR college funds. Confront. Expose. DEMAND.)
Or settle for a Hershey bar.
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[ THE WEDNESDAY BOX, a dark fable by Jonathan Kieran is slated for international release May 19, 2026 ]
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Jonathan Kieran 
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