Author: Jonathan Kieran
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From Mexico to the Bahamas, Sharks Are Reminding Humans That the Ocean is Theirs
Yesterday was marked by two tragic shark attacks in warmer waters of the Western world, as a probable Great White Shark completely bit-off the leg of an adult Mexican woman swimming with her child, and an American woman was killed…
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Keep Those Vortices Whirling, James
Inventor and all-around useful egghead James Dyson apparently was engaged in a lawsuit against one of those obnoxious English newspapers and lost the battle. Does anyone ever win against these British media outlets, besides equally insufferable royalty (Wills and Kate…
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The Death of “Hunchy”: Geriatric Orca Sinks to Killer Whale Heaven
Researchers off the coast of Loppa, Norway, documented some “first of its kind footage” of a male orca being culled by the Grim Reaper and slowly sinking down, down, down into the ocean depths. This occurred after several attempts by…
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Hit the Nail on the Head? THAT Head, At Least
The actual article from The Spectator, entitled When Did Publishers Stop Caring About What People Actually Want to Read, is paywalled, but it is well worth seeking-out via archive to see how the Hivemind Hysteria That Shall Not Be Named…
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Did they Eat It With Fava Beans and a Nice Kee-Ant-EE? Orcas Are the Douchebros of the Sea!
I shall let it be known right now: I do NOT like orcas, killer whales, or “Black Fish” or whatever you want to call them. When hunting, these tubby meanies of the ocean are known to practice ongoing cruelty against…
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Want Big Money? Get A Shark to Almost Eat You on Television!
I suppose this approach could work with tigers, lions, saltwater crocodiles, and army ants, too. Pitch it to the networks—your fortune is waiting! #LifeIsStrange ————— [A scintillating new shocker-of-a-novel by Jonathan Kieran is slated for major release in Spring 2024…
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Songs That Made Childhood Magical: Sesame Street Ragtime Alligator King!
Okay, so a hitherto planned “Ten Best Meals I Ever Ate” List is not going to appear today. I’m on the fourth day of a complete fast/cleanse, i.e. no solid food and only lemon-water, honey and cayenne pepper to sustain me.…
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Snorts, Illustrated
Did they want their copy to be perfectly generic and anodyne instead of the usual imperfectly generic scads of dried potato-flakes that are stuck to the pages of that shit magazine? File this one under: NO ONE CARES DUE TO…
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Because Whales Love Calamari, Too!
This is an interesting development in your hunger for must-have Daily Giant Squid Updates. What would a human life in the modern world be without such newsflashes? Lonely and bleak, most certainly. Truthfully, the Giant Squid never registered too highly…
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Great White Shark Survivor Toby Begg Back at the Scene of His Mauling
This a great news update from our friends at BeachGrit regarding Aussie surfer Toby Begg, whose story of courage and resilience captivated millions after a harrowing shark attack in August 2023. From reports during the Summer, it was obvious that…
Jonathan Kieran 