Author: Jonathan Kieran
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Sharkies Giving Goosebumps
An 11-12 ft great white glides around a SoCal paddle-boarder. Yeah. My balls would possibly try to reassign themselves to a long-forgotten domain between my hip bones, but mine are way too big to go back where they came from,…
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High-End Groceries for Gators
When alligators start shopping regularly for meat in an exclusive, elite community like Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, you know we are beginning to see a thoroughly unfair economic disparity between predatory reptiles enjoying some sort of “green privilege” while…
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More Proof that the Word “Iconic” is Excruciatingly Overused
A black widow spider, as a particular species of arachnids, may indeed be described properly as “infamous” or even “notorious” due to the potency of its venom and its potential significance for medical science and study, but it is not…
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The Viggo Mortensen Rundown?
Ehhhhhhhh, I am always tickled when any publication brings attention to the earnest and enigmatic Viggo Mortensen. I have been a big fan of Viggo’s work since before THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy: indeed, I was impressed by his…
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But Are the Cod Okay With This?
One presumes that Nantucket and the whole Cape Cod sweep was named for a preponderance of codfish upon which local human populations of yore fed whilst singing sea-shanties and being equally gruff to both friend and foe just for the…
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Rest At Last, Sinead
You really did know Mandinka, kiddo. [Look for Jonathan Kieran’s fabulous new—as yet untitled—book of hundreds of witty, cynical, zeitgeist-rocking, and knee-slappingly clever cartoons of Pure Smartassery in 2024! Stay tuned for developing news and previews.] —————— #AuthorJonathanKieran #JonathanKieran #WriterJonathanKieran…
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Fire Season Is Underway: Pack Your Bags and Protect Your Temples
Dry brush is igniting all over the globe beneath the onslaught of various oppressive heatwaves. From Canada to California to the Isle of Rhodes, people are fleeing and fighting the relentless flames. Unless you live on a houseboat in the…
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Great White Shark Lunching! (Not For The Faint of Heart)
There once was a seal from Nantucket whose butt was as big as a bucket. A shark bit it off, proceeded to cough, then onto the beach he did chuck it. (I really feel for the poor seal. Only half…
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And So It Begins … Or Continues
The issue of AI-generated “news” sources cribbing content from traditional media sources in order to program their fakety-fake intelligence has spurred a big lawsuit already. Who did not see this one coming? Just wait until things get REALLY messy. (And…
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Our Lady of Perpetual Pizza
Just when I thought cockamamie Roman Catholic devotional scams couldn’t get any greasier, here comes Our Lady of the Perpetual Pizzas. (That what I have dubbed this “Lady,” anyhow.) I have observed some truly asinine private devotional phenomena geared toward…
Jonathan Kieran 