HazMat Headline Du Jour: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book

Next Stop Paris ... then Onward to Milan!

Next Stop Paris … then Onward to Milan!

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book posted by JONATHAN KIERAN

CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 5.5 (Typical)

RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: At least they aren’t licking felines and swallowing cat hair to maintain that coveted skeletal look. Recent scientific studies do indeed confirm that Kleenex has twelve percent more nutritional value than cat hair. Models have the added bonus of being able to wipe the coke from their noses with their own dinner before eating.

EXISTENTIAL RAMIFICATIONS: Be prepared for a book called The Kleenex Kleanse: One Box and You’re a Fox

TAKE-AWAY QUOTE: Clements (the tell-all author) quotes an unnamed Russian model who told her over lunch that her roommate was a fit model, “so she is in hospital on a drip a lot of the time.” [HazMat Note: Oh, the irony. Clements and the model were discussing all of this “over lunch”? What was on the menu at this lunch — Toilet paper bisque? Cottonelle casserole?]

THERAPEUTIC CINEMA: It doesn’t get any better — she ate the Kleenex instead of the popcorn. You know she did.

MUSICAL REHAB: “Eat It” by Weird Al Yankovic

DETOX DINNER: Light as Air Ambrosia Salad or anything from Recipe Recommendations Healthy line-up.

FURTHER READING: People Eat the Darndest Things

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

One witty 2,800 year-old warlock. A suspicious storm that hurls him to earth near London. A goddess who wants his face. REMOVED.

A deliciously twisted magical adventure is born. Use any of the Rowan Blaize book icons on the upper-right to learn more or buy with an enchanted click at Amazon (Kindle or paperback).

Amazon Author Page
Rowan Blaize Official Website

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s