HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book posted by JONATHAN KIERAN
CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 5.5 (Typical)
RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: At least they aren’t licking felines and swallowing cat hair to maintain that coveted skeletal look. Recent scientific studies do indeed confirm that Kleenex has twelve percent more nutritional value than cat hair. Models have the added bonus of being able to wipe the coke from their noses with their own dinner before eating.
EXISTENTIAL RAMIFICATIONS: Be prepared for a book called The Kleenex Kleanse: One Box and You’re a Fox
TAKE-AWAY QUOTE: Clements (the tell-all author) quotes an unnamed Russian model who told her over lunch that her roommate was a fit model, “so she is in hospital on a drip a lot of the time.” [HazMat Note: Oh, the irony. Clements and the model were discussing all of this “over lunch”? What was on the menu at this lunch — Toilet paper bisque? Cottonelle casserole?]
MUSICAL REHAB: “Eat It” by Weird Al Yankovic
FURTHER READING: People Eat the Darndest Things
One witty 2,800 year-old warlock. A suspicious storm that hurls him to earth near London. A goddess who wants his face. REMOVED.
A deliciously twisted magical adventure is born. Use any of the Rowan Blaize book icons on the upper-right to learn more or buy with an enchanted click at Amazon (Kindle or paperback).