DON’T BE CRUEL: THE ONLY LINDSAY LOHAN POST YOU WILL EVER SEE ON POP HAZMAT

Don't be Mean, Girls

Don’t be Mean, Girls

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AT ISSUE: Lindsay Lohan and the Repulsive Ghoulishness of American Society

CASE IN POINT: Actress, universal laughing-stock and young woman Lindsay Lohan took to the David Letterman set the other night and more than held her own in the face of abject humiliation and ghoul-suckage on the part of David Letterman. See for yourself.

HERE ME AS I SPEAK TO YOU: Look. Lohan was certainly declaring herself “fair game” by occupying a chair next to a snotty old beaver like David Letterman, but at least she did it. And she did it with some pizazz. One of the things that makes me want to puke daily is this American fascination with killing talent.

Lohan came from a family that I personally wouldn’t trade for a dead hermaphrodite donkey and the last glass of water on the planet, but she has always had talent. I don’t give a rat’s glutes about her personal Bag of Crazy. I don’t.

This is a young woman who obviously has some problems that are frankly not to be lampooned while she’s actually sitting in front of your face. I am so freakin’ sick of the way Oughtta-Know-Better Americans are treating each other. Clearly, I love to satirize and put a wry spin on the world’s nonsense. I will not, however, use a young woman (famous, infamous, or otherwise) as a scratching-post/dumping-ground/dart-board for my own Feelings of Inadequacy.

Real MEN don’t treat women like garbage. Ever. Ever ever ever ever.

Lindsay was funny, wry, and witty, even if her personal life is a total Trainwreck that Jumped the Tracks of Hell and Careened into the Village of Damnation.

I … I … can handle everything in this world except cruelty. Cruelty cannot be countenanced. If you ever do something truly cruel to someone else, you had better hide under the stairs, cover your head with ashes and BEG the Virgin Mary to spare you from an eternity of Searing PAIN. Yeah, you heard me. Screw-up six proverbial ways to Sunday in your life (we all do) but DON’T be cruel.

Cruelty? I don’t want to know you, whether it’s doled-out to the famous or the forgotten. Damn this world.

(Oh, golly … I think I need a pill. Pray for me, Lindsay)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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