POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: “Bieber Takes Heat for Hoping Anne Frank Would Have Been Fan” by Jonathan Kieran

NOTE TO GOODREADS COMMUNITY: HANG TIGHT — WE’RE GOING TO BE LAUNCHING SOME WONDERFUL GIVEAWAYS VERY SOON AND TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND SUPPORT ~Jonathan K.

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This is NOT the Face of a "Belieber"

This is NOT the Face of a “Belieber”

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Bieber Takes Heat for Hoping Anne Frank Would Have Been Fan posted by JONATHAN KIERAN

CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 12 (out of 10 = Off the Charts of Toxic Cultural Impropriety: Celebrity Edition)

RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Male pop-tart who looks like a bored teen housewife from Topeka with a bad case of Baptist Hair signs guest-book in Amsterdam museum of famed Nazi victim and diarist Anne Frank, expressing his hope that she would have been a “Belieber”. (Don’t ask what that is and, BTW, no offense to Topeka.)

EXISTENTIAL RAMIFICATIONS: Raise yet another cheer for Humility in the Entertainment Industry. Oh, and the future of our clearly super-literate American youth.

TAKE-AWAY QUOTE: “Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”

THERAPEUTIC CINEMA: The Diary of Anne Frank (Masterpiece Theater Version)

MUSICAL REHAB: Deanna Durbin’s “Nessun Dorma” (Frank had a poster of the operatic 1930s film star on her wall. That’s who she “beliebed” in.)

DETOX DINNER: Chicken Soup with Matzo Balls by Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. It’ll cleanse your wounded sense of taste and decorum toute de suite.

FURTHER READING: Um, The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank and possibly Cintra Wilson’s A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Reexamined as a Grotesque, Crippling Disease and Other Cultural Revelations.

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One witty 2,800 year-old warlock. A suspicious storm that hurls him to earth near London. A goddess who wants to destroy the world. The catch? She needs Rowan’s face. REMOVED.

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