GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10!

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.
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HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Ashton Kutcher Says Twitter is Really Messed Up by Jonathan Kieran

Behold One of the Staggering Intellects of Our Time

CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 6 (OR: approximately the toxic equivalent of every photo of Demi Moore that has managed to find publication since 2008)

RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Yes, Ashton Kutcher, Twitter is a pointless, hot mess. But so is Two and a Half Men, and that isn’t likely to be going anywhere for a long time, either. Deal.

EXISTENTIAL RAMIFICATIONS: No ramifications. Anyone on Twitter has already lost his or her Eternal Soul, so existential issues mean nothing to us.

TAKE-AWAY QUOTE: “There’s a lot of people selling shit that I don’t want in my feed.” (Most interesting, Ashton. Are you talking about people selling half-baked Hollywood philosophical ramblings, celebrity worship, dimwitted upcoming film productions and execrable TV shows that actually jumped-the-shark before the pilot even aired? The hypocrisy is as refreshing as the scatterbrained drivel you spew. Gives it a pert, bubbly nuance … not unlike a drink of radiant goodness from a bottle of Champale that’s been sitting in the sun on the front porch of a hooker’s trailer by the Salton Sea for twelve days in mid-July. *Don’t ask me how I know that*)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to tweet all of this. HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, Y’ALL.
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Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that might just destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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