Stuff strangers shove under my front door when I’m gone. #leftbehind

POP HAZMAT presents STUFF STRANGERS SHOVE UNDER MY FRONT DOOR WHILE I’M AWAY by JONATHAN KIERAN

"Oh, Becky! It's amazing! It's wonderful! Glory, glory! You're being lifted up into the clouds and leaving this cruel world behind where the wretched shall suffer the agonies of Armageddon and be prodded by demonic pitchforks and trampled by the Four Horsemen and ... and ... wait a minute. Why the hell are my feet still on the ground? Becky? Becky?! BECKY!!!!"

“Oh, Tina! It’s amazing! It’s wonderful! Glory, glory! You’re being lifted up into the clouds and leaving this cruel world behind where the wretched shall suffer the agonies of Armageddon and be prodded by demonic pitchforks and trampled by the Four Horsemen and … and … hold on, here. What the … ? Why the hell are my feet still on the ground? Tina? Tina?!? Wait a second, bitch! Tell Him I didn’t mean to try on Mom’s heels that day! I’ll buy a football tomorrow, I swear! Just … WAIT! I’m sorry! TINAAAAAAA!!!

________________

While Jonathan works to complete his new novel (slated for release in Spring 2014) blogging will be swift, light, fun and generally of the “drive-by captioning” variety. Meanwhile, if you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like!

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

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