“It would be ever so easy to ring for it and simply solve the conundrum once and for all. Indecision is the domain of cowards and fools, of which I am neither. Carson favors me–he always has–and would go out of his way to see that any potential crisis might be averted in my regard. No one would have to know that I have access to an endless supply, a wealth of the alluring stuff at my very fingertips. It could be our little secret, Carson’s and mine. He would never give me away. Betrayal is an impulse foreign to the spiritual fabric of such a steadfast soul, to the unshakeable constitutions of all genuinely redoubtable men–if we are being truthful with ourselves. Such assurance having thus been vouchsafed against the howling tempest of my uncertainty, I can scarcely believe I agonize over the matter, even for the briefest instant. Verily, I am the one who wields the most daunting and formidable power in this house. The most shocking transgressions are mine to explore, freely and without fear of reprisal or judgment. The only remaining question centers upon whether I ‘feel like a nut’ or whether this might indeed be categorized as one of those times in which I don’t. Oh, God, the answer I have been seeking with all the ardor of my intellect has become abundantly clear at last–an unmistakable epiphany is mine. It’s Almond Joy or nothing!”