Be careful what you throw around this #Thanksgiving. Things can get tense around the table.

"Don't look at me like that. I was over at Barbra's the other day and she had these things on the floor and was getting ready to just step all over them--God knows what the hell she was thinking!--so I said to her, I said, 'Barbra, have you lost your friggin' mind entirely? You can't just trample a perfectly good set of pearls underfoot! Not on your nice hardwood floors! Here, give me those things, if you haven't got any use for them. You think I can't use a set like that? You think I'm dripping in jewels, the way my Harvey spends money down at the track? Think for a minute, darling. I can wear those to the club luncheon next week and make Linda Pullman gnash her teeth with envy, for crying out loud.' And Barbra looked at me and said, 'Well, if you feel that strongly about it, Sheila,' and I said, "Yes, I do! What do you think--I just open my mouth for the sake of hearing myself talk? That I form words and sentences for the sheer pleasure of speaking?' And then she gave them to me. Aren't they gorgeous? Harvey didn't even notice them, but I don't care. I'm going to have to drop-in on Barbra more often. I mean, who knows what sort of precious things she might choose to stomp on next? I tell you, I love her, but I don't know about this world. I don't know about people anymore. Nothing's sacred these days. Nothing."

“Don’t look at me like that. I was over at Barbra’s the other day and she had these things on the floor and was getting ready to just step all over them–God knows what the hell she was thinking!–so I said to her, I said, ‘Barbra, have you lost your friggin’ mind entirely? You can’t just trample a perfectly good set of pearls underfoot! Not on your nice Saltillo tile! Here, give me those things, if you haven’t got any use for them. You think I can’t use a set like that, Barbra? You think I’m dripping in jewels, the way my Harvey spends money down at the track? Think for a minute, darling. Use that pretty head of yours for something besides a wig stand. I can wear those to the club luncheon next week and make Linda Pullman gnash her teeth with envy, for crying out loud. I can even wear them to Thanksgiving dinner and make Harvey’s mother fall face-first into her green bean casserole. Maybe scald the skin right off her rotten skull. I mean, these things could be put to good use. What is this waste I see before me?’ And Barbra looked at me and said, ‘Well, if you feel that strongly about it, Sheila,’ and I said, “Yes, I do! What do you think–I just open my mouth for the sake of hearing myself talk? That I form words and sentences with my lips for the sheer pleasure of speaking into the empty air? Of course I feel strongly about it.’ And then she gave them to me. She did. Aren’t they gorgeous? Harvey didn’t even notice them, but I don’t care. I’m going to have to drop-in on Barbra more often. I mean, who knows what precious things she might choose to stomp on next? I could walk in and she’ll be doing the Watusi all over a Donna Karan gown, that one. Sheesh. I tell you, I love her, but I don’t know about this world. I don’t know about people anymore. Nothing’s sacred these days. Nothing.”

pearlies
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Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel, an epic supernatural thriller, is now finished and slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

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