Swan-dive into the refreshing waters of 2014. Naked, if possible.

Time to Take Some WD-40 to the Windmills of Your Mind? Join the Club.

Time to Take Some WD-40 to the Windmills of Your Mind? Join the Club.

How have we possibly arrived at the very brink of yet another New Year together? Is it just me, or have the mischievous goblins of hyper-informed “modernity” been wreaking havoc with the attention-spans of other fine citizens of this spinning ball of slowly cooling molten rock, whipping us all into a frenzied population of cynical, disconnected automatons as the planet hurtles through space and time towards a perpetually unknown destiny?

Okay, it’s just me. I thought as much.

Anyhow, whether we have come to park our toes at the edge of this beckoning abyss with the comprehensive faculties of fruit-flies or with keen eyes spiritually fixated upon momentous changes desperate for actualization in the coming months, we really are standing here together. It’s probably best to get used to that. If you’re like me and you can’t believe you completed even half of what you set-out to do around this time last year, pat yourself on the back, go buy yourself something ephemeral and unhealthy (possibly from the liquor store) or take a well-deserved nap. Congratulations. We’ve worked hard to survive 2013–not to mention all the years that came before that; well, at least the ones in which we were not in prison–and a brand new vista opens-up before us as the Western calendar prepares to make one of its trademark hairpin-turns.

Lots of new developments are on the horizon for Yours Truly. In February I shall have completed two brand new novels that are just snarling to be published, and the audiobook version of Rowan Blaize is slated for release (at last!) before Summer 2014, along with a very special and celebratory promotional giveaway aimed at members of the (dis)Enchanted Community. Naturally, there shall be any number of accompanying resolutions, diminutions, evolutions, retributions and sundry. Bullshit will be kept to a bare minimum, if at all possible. For the most part, however, I am intent upon clearing a year’s worth of collateral garbage out of my poor brain in order to launch the New year in appropriately productive fashion. To that end I have been looking into a number of the new “Personal Soul-Drive Erasers” on the market these days. All are very tempting, but no single brand has “leapt out at me” in terms of eradicating the metaphysical flotsam and jetsam of a year that hovered perilously on the brink of existential anguish time and time again.

I think I’ll just go for a nice 7-mile run on Wednesday and try to sweat the nonsense out. That typically does the trick. But first I’ll close the windows, turn off the lights, make a pot of spicy spaghetti and screen a cathartic offering from the realm of cinema–something fit to purge any and all demonic entities that may have attached themselves like barnacles to my worldview during the course of this particular yesteryear. I could watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua, for example. Someone gave it to me as a gift six years ago and it’s still in the library. Unwrapped. Mint condition. Begging to be seen. Or perhaps a selection from Lindsay Lohan’s oeuvre? That would indeed require a dive into the labyrinth of Netflix, but when the good of one’s very character is at stake, no exploration is too intrepid. Drastic measures may be required. You know … something powerful and soul-scorching. Eye-burning. Nostril hair-curling.

A guy has gotta do what he’s gotta do. Come what may, I’ll see you on the First. Good luck in your endeavors, beware of stray dogs with purple eyebrows, and above all be mindful of the good things you hope to achieve in 2014 and the fine specimens of humanity you hope to encounter. Good Luck.

Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel is slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at Amazon.com in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
Barnes and Noble
Rowan Blaize Official Website

1 Comment on “Swan-dive into the refreshing waters of 2014. Naked, if possible.

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