My Post-Christmas “Glutton-Boy Blues.” #holidayexcess #redemption

"May running-shoes dispel the blues of all the crap you've eaten."

“May running-shoes dispel the blues of all the crap you’ve eaten.”


You swore you wouldn’t overdo it, promised moderation,
but in the New Year aftermath of “booze obliteration”
your Tower of Indulgence has collapsed into a heap,
and on your glutton-head it fell while you were fast asleep.
You woke up with a headache and a tongue like salted pork.
And all because you couldn’t halt that shovel called “a fork.”
You lapped-up bowls of gravy and the stuffing you inhaled.
You gnawed upon each turkey-leg — the sirloin steaks impaled!
And then you washed it down with gulps of bubbly and of beer
and had the nerve to really think: “I’m not so bad this year!”
But all the scattered cookie-crumbs and candy-wrappers tell
the TRUTH about your greedy ways, your gastronomic hell!
You know there’s only one way to remove the sting of shame
and that requires exercise–enough to leave you lame!
So out into the winter day your bloated carcass stumbles,
and off you trot for seven miles as every muscle grumbles.
It takes you two full hours as you jog your sins away
while from your pores the Grease of Excess streams into the day!
Just one more hill and maybe all this self-inflicted pain
will cleanse your sorry system of the water you’ve retained.
And that is when your New Year TRULY starts and guilt is beaten …
… may running-shoes dispel the blues of all the crap you’ve eaten.

~JONATHAN KIERAN. Copyright 2014.
Jonathan Kieran’s (as-yet-untitled) new novel is slated for release in late Spring 2014. Look for news about the release here and at in the coming weeks and months.

Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a “Like,” if you are so inclined. Meanwhile …

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
Barnes and Noble
Rowan Blaize Official Website

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