Catholic Church Investigates “Bleeding”Communion Wafer. In Other News: Kids Starve Worldwide
Take a look at a recent article from Catholic News Agency and weep for the moribund intelligence of humanity. The Catholic Church is seriously investigating the possibly miraculous nature of a communion wafer that started to “bleed” when dropped in a glass of water. Please! I get more of a show when I drop an Alka-Seltzer in a cup. Three times the drama if I pop a couple of Airborne and mesmerize myself with the bubbles.
What an embarrassment for Roman Catholics–that their authorities would not only seriously consider such a ludicrous thing to be a POSSIBLE MANIFESTSTION OF THE DEITY, but also that this story would gain traction on Catholic news outlets.
Think of the implications!
We are supposed to believe that, with all the children starving and suffering in the world–children who could benefit from some form of direct divine intervention, from some small expenditure of divine “power”–the Deity INSTEAD decides to expend supernatural mojo to play asinine, third-rate parlor tricks involving “bloody” Eucharist wafers. What is a Eucharistic wafer doing submerged in a glass of water, anyhow? Is that liturgically sound procedure?
If the risen, cosmic Christ is still physically “bleeding” or oozing bodily fluids somewhere, then why doesn’t that wafer grow hair, or ears, or a nice set of teeth, too? If God is concentrating REAL HARD to do a miracle, to show-off some POWER, then, as long as he’s at it, why doesn’t that Eucharistic host grow a pair of legs and do a fancy little cakewalk across the altar during Sunday Mass? Perform a few somersaults. That’ll get some serious attention in the pews. Hey, maybe the miracle wafer will develop a set of lips and a tongue and go on the talk-show circuit. Sit down for an interview with Matt Lauer. Explain the priestly abuse scandals. Clear the air on a few pesky issues. Sing a few bars of the Ave Maria. Why not? Seeing as God is expending ALL that miraculous energy.
Let’s have a REAL demonstration. Why stop at mere blood? Go for the whole hog, Lord!
Don’t people see what a mockery they make of faith, religion, God, and reason by giving credence to this sort of chicanery? The Catholic Church. No wonder the atheists snicker.
Believe me dear, not only the atheists snicker. Well, come to think of it, according to strict Catholic doctrine I am worse than an atheist – so I cackle, even though crying out loud would be more appropriate
Cackling is MOST acceptable … but only at the midnight hour. Doing it on the train might get you into hot water.