Today, January 7, 2022, I have the pleasure of informing readers that the leading or most “trending” search by countless millions of humans utilizing the gargantuan powers of the Google behemoth is:

Dr. Pimple Popper Popping Blackheads

How encouraging to know that a significant segment of the globe’s population is reverting to old-fashioned, wholesome forms of amusement amid these troubled times.

Ah, Google. The glory of a perceived anonymity that, in actuality, reveals the putrid truths about widespread human fascinations for all to see. What a particularly festering irony to behold!

But hardly a surprising one—the ogling of rancid pustules being lanced and squeezed is constantly in the Google “Top Ten” trending searches. A regular family favorite!

Bow down and tremble at the realization that your fellow adults are seeking-out this brand of entertainment with such secretive gusto. And don’t blame it on kids. For all today’s grown-ups know, they’re probably googling for porn, not pimples.

It’s over, amoebas. ’Twas a rather long, unpleasant, and painful experiment, but a few hundred thousand years of pimple-popping voyeurism (and accompanying thrills) are coming regrettably to an end. The undetected* asteroid is on its way.

Is it not the zenith of poetic justice that the earth itself may prove to be the most gloriously “popped pimple” of them all? 🤗

Sayo-freakin’-nara!

(*Undetected because astronomers were doubtless watching video of a “physician” in a bikini suck infected blackheads from the obese ass-cheeks of a hairy dude named “Bubba,” instead of scanning the universe.)

#HeartwarmingObservations #OptimisticRejoinders #TheJoysOfMisanthropy #KissYourPimplyAssesGoodbye