Life currently sucking a lemon? World off its nut? Feelin’ LOW? Get thee hence to Byzantium, or what memories are left of it, via John Julius Norwich’s classic A Short History of Byzantium. That’ll put some starch in your goddamned undergarments. Trust me. Just keep knives away from your tongue and red-hot pokers from your eyes. Also, do not name your son “Constantine” or your daughter “Eudocia” or your struggling non-binary spawn “Theo—ANYTHING”. M’kay? Also, listen to Mylene perform a striptease and pretend that you are in the 7th Century, surrounded by porphyry.

Meet me at the intersection of Sex and Insanity, whatever. Who CARES?

And finally … you ain’t heard the last of me.

(I always wanted to say that to someone, somewhere, when I was feeling a tad on-the-brink. I guess I just did. Better already? Not quite, but it’ll do until “better” comes along.)

PS: Icons and art will actually LAST … unless you destroy it, you image-spooked motherfuckers of damnable history. Destroying and fearing the depiction of a human person is as superstitious and as ignorant as pretending an image is divine or miraculous. It’s creepier to destroy an image, in fact. Fear-saturated cunts.

There. Whoof. That’s somewhat out of my system. Eat my umbrage.

#WaitingOnTheAsteroid #JonathanKieran #Author #Byzantium #BlindedByTheRedHotPoker #SickAndTiredOf_______ #Rumination #BackToMedievalBasics #CalmDown #PointlessBlogging