Some winner in a crowd of thousands at a football game decided to flash her mammaries just as a camera was panning in her direction. Jumbo screens caught her in the act of Booby Liberation. This unique, artistic, creatively potent, and philosophically shattering instant went “viral” on social media. Thus, the woman decided to start her own OnlyFans site wherein she could charge masturbating pervs a fee for seeing those very same fun-bags from any number of hitherto unusual and unexplored angles.

This, people of Earth, is the stuff of which dreams are made and of which world-changing achievements are accomplished.

Tits. Let us ponder them.

I think their appeal rests in the fact that they are so rarely seen and showcased in Western society. Think about it: one hardly ever catches even the most meager glimpse of these mercurial and enigmatic body parts, particularly in America. Tits are shrouded in secrecy and veiled with ineffable mystery. Trapdoor spiders and genuine extraterrestrials are seen much more often than the female tit. Tits are guarded with ferocity from all hint of common, public view, just like the crown jewels of the late Queen Elizabeth II.

Women simply do not expose Ta-Ta Flesh. Never. This almost universally sacrosanct and demure impulse is the catalyst that makes Bazoom-Brandishing such a staggering Epiphany on those unlikely occasions when actual hooters are glimpsed by the common folk, even peripherally.

Tits.

A rare and perpetually elusive phenomenon. Long may this maverick-of-a-woman trundle her sacred wares for the education and edification of the teeming online masses. Madame Marie Curie, move the hell over. You and your sad little test-tubes have been replaced by tubes far more consequential.

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