Another Up-to-the-Minute Sharky Bulletin

Anyone who reads this blog knows by now that your eminently gracious and ever-so-amiable host has (and has long had) a fascination with the Great White Shark. Indeed, there is nothing I like better than stories, accounts, films, photos, and studies pertaining to the magnificent Master of All Ocean Predators. (And, yes, killer whales can suck it because they hunt in packs to achieve their admittedly well-deserved reputations, which nevertheless takes them out of the equation when it comes to questions of predatory superiority, one-on-one. So there.)

At all events, some unfortunate news has come to us here at Nosey Nosenheimer Shark Watch Centrale: a ten-foot female great white shark has just washed up on the windswept shores of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and foul play is not being ruled out in this grievous circumstance. The death of an otherwise healthy female white shark is cause for alarm among oceanographers simply due to the endangered status of these creatures in general, but more particularly because viable breeding females are at the nexus of the species’s survival. Marine biologists are in the process of conducting an autopsy to get to the heart of this unfortunate (possible)murder/(definite)beaching. The specimen may have been sick, may have swallowed any manner of human industrial waste, may have been done-in by an assassin for failure to repay a hefty loan, or the shark may have been caught accidentally by sport fishermen off the coast, surreptitiously released, and later died of exhaustion as a result of the struggle.

Whatever the case may be, you can be certain that Yours Truly will be forthcoming with any potential breaks in the case. Stay tuna. Tuned, that is.


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