Jonathan Kieran

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Jonathan Kieran

The Poop’s Exorcist

Not that I was in any way stunned or surprised, but the big-budget Russell Crowe-helmed horror flick, The Pope’s Exorcist, turned out to be one of the five or six worst specimens of cinematic deuce-pinching imaginable. The story was asinine. The plot was garbage. The acting was abhorrent. The pacing was abominable. The sets were abysmal. The “demonic” villain was about as scary and as stupid as a googly-eyed sock puppet. Need I go on?

No.

Why did I watch it? I figured Russell Crowe would have the good sense to sign-up for a project that boasted—at the very least—a sensible, linear script. Fat chance (no pun intended, Russell).

I fell asleep with the ear buds in place 3/4 of the way through this fetid barrel of sun-baked fish guts.

That does it. In the future I’m not watching films made beyond 2004. I’ve tried to deny it, but either the hoi polloi have genuinely been dumbed-down to the point of catatonia or Hollywood is really the collective victim of possession by demons—demons of stultification.

It’s probably a case of both.

[Look for Jonathan Kieran’s fabulous new—as yet untitled—book of hundreds of witty, cynical, zeitgeist-rocking, and knee-slappingly clever cartoons of Pure Smartassery in 2024! Stay tuned for developing news and previews.]

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2 responses to “The Poop’s Exorcist”

  1. Emps Avatar
    Emps

    Ah don’t condem all films and series after 2004 all together. The Brits still deliver. Especially in series(just think a bout Good Omens and Downton Abbey) but also in films. Their secret – even though they use special effects, acting always comes first, and they have all those wonderful character actors. Their crime series (Vera, Shetland, Lewis, Broadchurch to name just a few) can do without all the shooting, so characteristed for American productions, and still be thrilling. So far they hardly ever disapointed me. And even the new Midsomer Murders are as well made as the old ones, brilliant production since 1997. Need I go on?

    Reply
    1. Jonathan Kieran Avatar
      Jonathan Kieran

      Truer words were never spoken, my dear. But American film is

      Reply

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