Category: Execrably Awful Cinema

• 4.24.2018 5:24 AM

  Jonny’s Retro-Cinema Hall of LAME: Goo-Luvin’ Giants … with their own village!

  JONNY’S RETRO-CINEMA HALL OF LAME presents TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Director Bert Gordon with “Stars” Beau Bridges, Tommy Kirk, Joy Harmon, Johnny Crawford, Ron Howard, Robert Random, Toni Basil, Vicki London, and other…

• 7.30.2014 5:05 AM

  Lunch-Hour with Bob and Sheila … #MaleficentPresumptions

  __ Jonathan Kieran is slowly withdrawing from contemporary human society in protest against a myriad of offenses against taste and decency, but his epic new novel is slated for release in 2015. Stay tuned for more news about the book…

• 4.29.2014 6:05 PM

  I was still willing to give cinema the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters #despair

  Look, this film is not going to get an in-depth review because it doesn’t merit one, but I do have a few pointed remarks I would like to share out of what you might call an overriding sense of colossal…

• 6.17.2013 8:09 PM

  No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …

  POP HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME presents LOVABLY ROTTEN FANTASY MOVIES TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: HOCUS POCUS (Walt Disney Pictures, 1993) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, all Producers, Directors, Writers RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This movie appears to…

• 4.13.2013 10:38 PM

  HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: WHY I WRITE FAIRY TALES IN LIEU OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE EDITION (Showgirls)

  NOTE TO GOODREADS COMMUNITY: HANG TIGHT — WE’RE GOING TO BE DOING SOME WONDERFUL GIVEAWAYS VERY SOON AND TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND SUPPORT ~Jonathan K. A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock…