Category: Execrably Awful Cinema
+ Adventures in American Self-Loathing, Execrably Awful Cinema, Existential Prices by Jonathan Kieran, Jonathan Kieran at the Movies, Jonathan Kieran Recommends, Lowest Common Denominator, Pop HazMat Cult Movies We Adore!, Satire, Uncategorized
Jonny’s Retro-Cinema Hall of LAME: Goo-Luvin’ Giants … with their own village!
JONNY’S RETRO-CINEMA HALL OF LAME presents TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Director Bert Gordon with “Stars” Beau Bridges, Tommy Kirk, Joy Harmon, Johnny Crawford, Ron Howard, Robert Random, Toni Basil, Vicki London, and other Assorted Aces of Awfulness RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Based more loosely than a herd of rabid, wailing cows attempting to dance the Virginia Reel upon H.G. … Read More Jonny’s Retro-Cinema Hall of LAME: Goo-Luvin’ Giants … with their own village!
+ Execrably Awful Cinema, Existential Prices by Jonathan Kieran, Lunch-Hour with Bob & Sheila, Satire
Lunch-Hour with Bob and Sheila … #MaleficentPresumptions
__ Jonathan Kieran is slowly withdrawing from contemporary human society in protest against a myriad of offenses against taste and decency, but his epic new novel is slated for release in 2015. Stay tuned for more news about the book in coming months. Jonathan is also the author of the classically appointed Rowan Blaize series of modern fairy-tales and novels. Visit Jonathan Kieran’s Official … Read More Lunch-Hour with Bob and Sheila … #MaleficentPresumptions
I was still willing to give cinema the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters #despair
Look, this film is not going to get an in-depth review because it doesn’t merit one, but I do have a few pointed remarks I would like to share out of what you might call an overriding sense of colossal umbrage, or something. I happened to catch Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters on Netflix while stuck in a hotel room in Santa Cruz, not … Read More I was still willing to give cinema the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters #despair
No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …
POP HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME presents LOVABLY ROTTEN FANTASY MOVIES TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: HOCUS POCUS (Walt Disney Pictures, 1993) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, all Producers, Directors, Writers RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This movie appears to have been a gratingly earnest attempt by Walt Disney Pictures to ca$h-in on the craving of mainstream 1990s audiences for supernatural comedies, but the … Read More No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …
Jonathan Kieran 
+ Execrably Awful Cinema
HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: WHY I WRITE FAIRY TALES IN LIEU OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE EDITION (Showgirls)
by Jonathan Kieran
NOTE TO GOODREADS COMMUNITY: HANG TIGHT — WE’RE GOING TO BE DOING SOME WONDERFUL GIVEAWAYS VERY SOON AND TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND SUPPORT ~Jonathan K. A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD CINEMA) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: SHOWGIRLS … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: WHY I WRITE FAIRY TALES IN LIEU OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE EDITION (Showgirls)