EAVESDROPPING at the OUTSKIRTS OF EXCESS: POP HAZMAT presents “CAPTURED MOMENTS” by JONATHAN KIERAN _________ If you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like! Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series … Read More They’ve handled this sort of thing for centuries at #Downton.
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: “Yubaba” (Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away, 2001 Studio Ghibli) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: “Yubaba” is the name-stealing, scene-stealing, chain-smoking witch who oversees a bathhouse for Japanese spirits and other magical entities in Hayao Miyazaki’s classic animated feature Spirited Away. Yubaba possesses a number of garden-variety magical powers as well as many unlikely characteristics, but just how … Read More “Your mother was a Japanese bathhouse witch!” #notaninsult #animatedmovies
A rather arrogant goddess wants to skin the face off the most adorable warlock you could ever imagine. YOU can save him for only $0.99. Click HERE. AT ISSUE: Lindsay Lohan and the Repulsive Ghoulishness of American Society CASE IN POINT: Actress, universal laughing-stock and young woman Lindsay Lohan took to the David Letterman set the other night and more than held her own … Read More DON’T BE CRUEL: THE ONLY LINDSAY LOHAN POST YOU WILL EVER SEE ON POP HAZMAT
TEN BEST MEALS I EVER ATE: THE WHERES, THE WHYS and THE HOWTOFORES (And I Can’t Believe I’m Dredging This Up NOW, When I’m On a 10-Day FAST! Then Again, Of Course I’m Dredging it Up. Dream, Boy, Dream. That’s All You’ve Got, for the Moment …) 10. Cafe Sud (Sofitel El Gezirah, Cairo) Forget the Cairo smog and the fact that you need … Read More TEN BEST MEALS I EVER ATE (Where, Why & What-Not) Number 10: Cafe Sud at Sofitel El Gezirah, Cairo
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD ) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: VIENNA SAUSAGES RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: In America, these dainties consist of the unspeakable parts of beef, pork and chicken combined with wiggly rat tails (for color), all thrown in a Secret Hadron Atom-Smasher located 5 miles beneath the earth near Vienna, Austria and transformed into pudgy little cylinders of Molded Maybe-Meat. DEFINITIVE … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL of LAME: Vienna Sausages …Good Enough for Lohan, Good Enough for You
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA) by Jonathan Kieran TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: TROLL (1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Noah Hathaway as “Harry Potter Jr.”; Michael Moriarty as “Harry Potter Sr.”; Julia Louis-Dreyfus as “Jeanette”; Sonny Bono as “Peter”; Shelley Hack as “Anne”; June Lockhart as “Elaine St. Claire”; Phil Fondocaro as “Malcolm Mallory” and “Torok” (titular troll). RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Whoah, is this … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “You Spin Me (Like A Record)” by Dead or Alive (1985) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Lead singer Pete Burns for imitating Boy George imitating a rabid chicken imitating a goat being skewered alive up the wazoo with a rotisserie-spit. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: One of the most egregiously nauseating sonic pop-disturbances ever to assault human eardrums … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!